Friday, 02 December 2011
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I'm Laurel, He's Hardy
This article ran in Friday's Asbury Park Press.
ANOTHER FINE MESS
Laurel and Hardy's timeless comedy captured on new DVD set
By Ed Kaz !
Comedy Correspondent
When I was growing up in central New Jersey, there were maybe three and a half TV stations; not much of an entertainment choice in the pre-Internet era. I’d arise very early with hopes of catching the cartoon “Crusader Rabbit” or perhaps even “The Modern Farmer” (I learned a lot about growing beets back then; maybe I missed my vocation). On Saturday they'd run Abbott and Costello movies at noon on Channel 11, while the Bowery Boys ruled the airwaves on Channel 5 every Sunday. And if you were a Chuck McCann fan (and who wasn’t?), his program regularly featured the films of Laurel and Hardy.
Laurel and Hardy, bless their souls. They practically invented what we now call "situation comedy." Clearly, without them there'd be no Honeymooners(think: Kramden and Norton), and no Seinfeld (think: Kramer and Newman). HBO's "Bored to Death" would be literally that if not for the spiritual guidance of Stan and Ollie. “Laurel and Hardy, that’s almost beautiful,” comedian Steven Wright told me a few years back. “Their characters are so much more likeable and almost like out of a Dickens thing in a way; really funny but also very touching," said Wright. "There’s like a sympathy to them.”
Indeed, Laurel and Hardy took the mindless slapstick of early cinema comedy and gave it a big ol’ heart. They’d play it broad and they’d play it subtle--often at the same time--and that’s why they’re still funny today. It would take many pages of intellectual discourse to explain the appeal of this derby-domed duo, but all you really need to do is watch “Sons of the Desert” from the brand new DVD “Laurel and Hardy: The Essential Collection.” Here, all the elements of sitcom are in place: Stan and Ollie want to attend their fraternal organization’s convention in Chicago without their wives, so they construct an elaborate deception involving Ollie being sick and needing to go with Stan (alone of course) to Hawaii to recuperate. Of course, the ship they are supposed to be on sinks. Talk about “another fine mess.” How ever will they get themselves out of this pickle? Oh, and did I mention that Stan's wife owns a shotgun?And "Sons of the Desert" is just one example. Dozens of Laurel and Hardy’s perfectly executed comic “short subjects” and feature films from the 20s and 30s are beautifully preserved on this 10 DVD set. If you want to know where all the good modern comedy comes from, this is surely the place to start.
---- Ed Kaz
DVD:
LAUREL AND HARDY: THE ESSENTIAL COLLECTION
RHI Entertainment
Available in stores and online
List Price: $99.98
$65.99 on Amazon.com
www.laurel-and-hardy.com
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
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What's he BUILDING in there?
This is dedicated to my neighbor. I hope he has a very happy holiday...
Cheers, you.
Saturday, 05 November 2011
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"My Brush with Rooney-Ness" by Ed Kaz
So sad to learn of the passing of Andy Rooney this morning. It made me suddenly recall my special encounter with the TV legend back in 2001.
I used to work for a show called "Iyanla." Their office was located directly above the 60 Minutes offices on 57th Street. One crisp September morning as I walked toward the building I spied a small camera crew. Curious, I moved closer and spotted a small man at the center of the activity. It was Andy Rooney, interviewing passers-by. His idea of a remote shoot was to place one foot out the door.
Rooney looked up at me and inquired, "When was the last time you took a bath?" The camera and boom mic swung quickly in my direction.
"I took a shower this morning."
His eyebrows straightened resolutely. "No. A BATH."
At that moment my TV instincts kicked in. The fact that I've been editing TV for over ten years at that point certainly helped.
Oh! I know what he's looking for.
I looked directly into his eyes and said, "Last bath I had, I was about seven years old. My mother gave it to me before church."
Then I took a TV pause, and delivered the line I knew Rooney wanted:
"I HATE baths."
With that, he smiled widely. "Thank you! We got it!" The crew immediately shut down their equipment and a very happy Andy Rooney almost skipped with delight back into the warm lobby.
Sure enough, about two weeks later I tuned in 60 Minutes and there he was, whining his trademark whine. Bath-taking versus shower-taking. Standard-issue Andy.
"We went out and asked people if they take baths."
The montage of bites ran by, and of course, I was granted the punchline: "I HATE baths."
Cut back to Andy and off he went.
I'm so proud I seized my moment and was, for a few fleeting seconds, a contributor to 60 Minutes.
I'm also happy I gave Andy Rooney what he needed so he could get the hell back into his office and finish his coffee.
#andyrooney
----- Ed Kaz
Sunday, 23 October 2011
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TOP TEN PROPOSED AND REJECTED BREAKFAST CEREALS...
Gotta give those folks at Kelloggs and General Foods credit. They're always trying to come up with great new breakfast cereals for the world to enjoy.
Sometimes though, they don't quite hit the mark.
From the Home Office in Shell Pile New Jersey...
TOP TEN PROPOSED AND REJECTED BREAKFAST CEREALS:
[Drum Roll]
10. Beerios
9. Frosted Asbestos Wheats
8. Tobacco Puffs
7. Rice Whiskies
6. Snotty Pebbles
5. Feeties
4. Lucky Worms
3. Prune Loops
2. Postal Toasties
AND THE NUMBER ONE PROPOSED AND REJECTED BREAKFAST CEREAL:
1. Router Bits
---- Ed Kaz
Currently
Aoxomoxoa
By Grateful Dead
see related
Thursday, 06 October 2011
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Hi there!
Well, I figured I'd better type some sort of thing in here so that Xanga knows I'm still in existence. I remember when blogging was part of my daily routine. Those were the days my friend. Then I got busy. WAY busy. Too busy to even tweet. OK, I tweet, but I don't use all the characters, that would be excessive.
Anyway, I love you guys. See ya soon!
Peace
Kaz
Currently
The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America
By Erik Larson
see related
Saturday, 23 July 2011
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BREAKING: ABE VIGODA DISCOVERED ALIVE by Ed Kaz! Amalgamated Press
NEW YORK--Abe Vigoda, the actor whose career ranged from The Godfather to Barney Miller, has been discovered alive in his Upper-East Side apartment this morning. According to AP, at 8:31 am, Vigoda’s body was found breathing, sitting up, eating a spinach knish, and watching ESPN.
A source close to the actor says no service is planned. The source quotes Vigoda as saying, “Because I’m still f**king alive! Can I finish my f**cking knish now?”
Monday, 11 July 2011
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JUST THE FAX MA'AM, or Welcome to 1982.
I did some freelance work back in March.
Now here it is, July, and the company finally got around to thinking about paying me.
But there's a catch:
"You must fax us your invoice with your work order or you will not be paid."
Huh? FAX? People still use those things?
Well, OK. I like money, so I'll do what they say. It was then that I realized something: I DON'T HAVE A FAX MACHINE.
So I hopped in my car and drove to the place where I once had to send a fax about eight years ago.
The place...was shuttered.
OK then. I'm guessing they have a faxing service at Staples, right? Resolutely, I gunned my motor and took off up the highway. I pulled into the Staples parking lot and, clutching my invoice, I entered. The clerk greeted me with a bemused snicker and pointed me down a long dank dusty hallway. As I started my walk I heard a voice behind me mumbling something like "Nobody goes THERE anymore," followed by yet another snicker.
Stepping over milk crates and around decayed cigar stubs, I finally reached the end of the hall. There was a gray rusty metal door illuminated by a dangling 40-watt light bulb. On the door was a blue index card dangling by one strand of yellowed tape.
It said "FAX ROOM."
I took a deep breath. I turned the doorknob. Immediately I heard what sounded like an AM radio station playing "beautiful music" through a whole lot of static. Then I saw him: An old man, bathed in half-light, seated at a bare card table in a far corner. He was wearing a tattered green SPEEDEE PRINT & FAX SERVICE smock. He looked up, annoyed. He beckoned me closer. Wordlessly, the old man snatched the invoice from my (by now, sweating) hand and, letting off a great wheeze, he began the complicated face-down-dial-one-first process known as "faxing."
A half-hour later I was holding a mimeographed copy of something called a "confirmation." The old man assured me the fax probably went through, but he "couldn't guarantee nuthin'. This contraption hain't been used since someone sent a congratulations fax to Rick Springfield for his number one record."
With that, the old man spit some tobacco on the floor and shooed me away.
I sure hope that fax went through. I'd hate like heck to have to go back there. Maybe I should just forget about the money.
----- Ed Kaz
Tuesday, 21 June 2011
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Messin' wit da Mouse
I played hooky from work Thursday.
It was the perfect opportunity for me to take off in my car and visit some of my favorite Monmouth County haunts. A place that I absolutely love is Englishtown Antiques. Formerly a supermarket, it's now filled top to bottom with old furniture, magazines, records, dishes, vintage clothing and bric a brac of every kind. Englishtown Antiques is the kind of place where you have to be careful what you touch or you'll cause an avalanche. In other words, my kind of place.
As I carefully made my way down the aisles I came across an old Colorforms set (Remember Colorforms? Do they even still make them?). When I opened the box there was a wonderful image inside--an image that was just begging to be altered to suit my own sinister comedic purposes.
STEP ONE:
Here's how it looked in its raw state.
Since I had to shoot it on the sly I was unable
to lose the glare from the overhead fluorescent.
No problem! I'll just "fix it in post" as we say in the biz.
STEP TWO:
In Photoshop I was able to replace the glare with
samples of color from other parts of the picture.
It's not perfect, but who needs perfection when
you're just havin' fun? Right?
STEP THREE:
Next I took my airbrush tool and got rid of
the words "LIFT HERE." I think The Mouse
had something else to say.
STEP FOUR:
Bad Mickey! Jesus. How does Minnie put up
with this over-medicated rodent anyway?
STEP FIVE:Dear Ed Kaz:
It has come to our attention that you have made an unauthorized use of our
copyrighted work entitled "Mickey Mouse."We believe you have willfully infringed our rights under 17 U.S.C. Section 101 et seq.
and could be liable for statutory damages as high as $150,000 as set forth in Section 504(c)(2) therein.We demand that you immediately cease the use and distribution of all infringing works, and all copies, including electronic copies, of same, that you deliver to us, if applicable, all unused, undistributed copies of same, or destroy such copies immediately and that you desist from this or any other infringement of our rights in the future. If we have not received an affirmative response from you by May 14, 2007 indicating that you have fully complied with these requirements, we shall take further action against you.
Very truly yours,
The Walt Disney Company
Wow. I guess it is a small world after all ...
----- Ed Kaz
Sunday, 19 June 2011
Sunday, 12 June 2011
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WEINER TO FORM NEW "AMERICAN PENIS-TWEET PARTY" by Ed Kaz / Amalgamated Press
ANTHONY WEINER ANNOUNCES NEW POLITICAL PARTY
Says his recent penis-tweeting was just “part of the announcement.” Declares scandal "OVER!"By Ed Kaz / Amalgamated Press
[NEW YORK CITY] In a press conference yesterday at the New York Hilton, Brooklyn Queens representative Anthony Weiner announced that he is exiting the Democratic Party in order to form the new American Penis-Tweet Party. “It is important, né essential, that all male Americans have their penis tweeted on a regular basis.” Weiner went on to note that anyone receiving a penis-tweet should examine the penis carefully to determine any abnormalities. “The penis has never had a political voice and needs to be heard and seen," asserted the representative, "It cannot be held down any longer.”
When asked about his own penis-tweets of last month, Weiner called them “premature” and that he had meant to tweet them after the announcement of the new party. “Bad timing, pure and simple; they came too early,” said the representative, standing straight and resolute at his podium. “It was a clerical mix up. My penis-tweet was to occur afterward. Boy I'm sure glad we cleared this up. SCANDAL OVER!
Weiner closed out the conference by saying his new American Penis-Tweet Party is for those Americans who feel disenchanted and "limp" from all the Tea Party’s rhetoric. “I call on all Americans to join The American Penis-Tweet Party. Stand tall and be counted. God Bless America.”
----- Ed Kaz
True- Interests: Ed Kaz listens to and writes about music of all kinds. Mostly it is recorded music from the 20th Century, maybe a little from the 19th Century, and perhaps a bit from the 21st Century.
- Expertise: Marginal harmonica skills.
- Occupation: Television Editor / Journalist
- Industry: Mass Media
- Website: www.edkaz.com
Recent Weblogs
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I'm Laurel, He's Hardy
This article ran in Friday's Asbury Park Pr... -
What's he BUILDING in there?
This is dedicated to my neighbor. I hope he ... -
"My Brush with Rooney-Ness" by Ed Kaz
So sad to learn of the passing of Andy Rooney th...
