The Kaz Column from Friday's Asbury Park Press

NOT FREE AT LAST
Patrice O'Neal gets laughs and gets paid.

By Ed Kaz !
Comedy Correspondent

How did  Patrice O'Neal pick his vocation?  "I was a funny kid for free," reflected O'Neal,  "Then I was a funny teenager for free.  Luckily comedy exists so I don't have to be a funny man for free."  That answer sums up the Boston born comic's style: No nonsense, to the point, and hilarious.   O'Neal earns a paycheck this weekend at New Brunswick's Stress Factory.

KAZ!:  Patrice, do you have any sort of pre-show ritual?

O'NEAL: Yes.  I try to stay very calm, very focused, and in the moment.  Then with about five minutes left before I go on stage I start resenting and hating the person on stage before me.

KAZ!:  If you could live in any other era of human history, which one would it be?

O'NEAL: Definitely the 70s.  The actual 70s, like 70 AD, so I could have sex with Roman B*****s.)

KAZ!:  Are you a good heckler handler?  Got any heckler handling tips?

O'NEAL: I enjoy audience interaction.  I enjoy the audience feeling connected to the show.  I enjoy the audience feeling invested in the show, but I hate hecklers.  Hecklers are all about themselves, not about the show. My best heckler line comeback is "Please stop heckling, or I will have you thrown out." I hate selfish-*ss hecklers, but I do love people who participate.

KAZ!:  Who makes YOU laugh?

O'NEAL: Too many to say. That's my cowardly way of saying not that many people.

KAZ!:  What's your favorite kind of cake?

O'NEAL: Before I got diabetes, ALL CAKES.  Cake was the only important part of the title.

KAZ!:  If you weren't doing comedy, what the heck WOULD you be doing?

O'NEAL: A funny guy doing something that I wouldn't want to be doing.

KAZ!:  What do you love the most about New Jersey?

O'NEAL: New York.

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Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.

AsburyKaz@aol.com


 
PATRICE ONEAL
Tonight & Saturday
Stress Factory Comedy Club
90 Church St. New Brunswick
Showtimes 8 & 10:30
Tickets: $25
Reservations:
(732)-545-4242 
www.stressfactory.com
 

This first appeared in the Asbury Park Press in 2003

FOR THE LOVE OF LOUIS
For Gia Maione-Prima, the legend and the love lives on.

By Ed Kaz !
Correspondent

Louis Prima means a lot of things to a lot of people: A.) King of Vegas, B.) Voice of the ape in the Jungle Book , C.) Influential jazz trumpet player and songwriter, D.) That dude who sings in the "Khaki Swing" Gap Commercial. But to Gia Maione-Prima of Island Heights he’s all of the above and more: Louis Prima was a musical comrade, best friend, and love of her life.

Maione-Prima started out as a fan, then became Prima’s singing partner and wife from 1963 until his passing in 1978. Ever since she’s been engaged in a labor of love: Preserving his legacy. Currently she’s hard at work producing a CD re-issue of her husband’s albums from the 60s and 70s--records that she hopes will make the case that Prima did not rest on his laurels after his career-making sides for Capitol in the 1950s. That decade brought forth such jukebox faves as "Just a Gigolo," "Old Black Magic," and the ever-enduring "Jump, Jive, An’ Wail," the song that sold a whole lot of pants.

"I really believed that we were destined to come together," said the soft-spoken Maione-Prima, seated across the kitchen table at her home in Island Heights. During our chat, Prima’s spirit was very much in evidence. There’s a photo of the couple snuggling on a golf-cart here, the gold record for Jungle Book there. On the floor in the living room was a long box brimming with records, all Prima's (He made hundreds in a career which spanned from 1934 to 1975). And just a few feet away, resting on the mantle, forever silent, sat The Trumpet.

Maione-Prima was already a long-time fan when she first me the legendary entertainer in 1962. Prima, still smarting from his acrimonious split with wife/singing partner Keely Smith, was on a nationwide search for a new "girl singer" to join his act. The word was out: He’d be trying out girls at the Latin Casino nightclub in Cherry Hill. Maione--then a fresh-faced nineteen-year-old living with her folks in Toms River--was ready for her appointment with destiny. " I was working in Howard Johnson’s--the IHOP now-- when I read in the paper that he was auditioning girl singers." She ran home and begged her mom to drive her to the audition. What comes next reads like a low-budget musical from the 1950’s, but Maione-Prima swears it’s all true:

"After each show the girls would line up backstage after the curtains closed and stay with the piano player," recounted the singer. "Louis would sit there and listen to each one of them sing. All these girls were gorgeous: tight gowns, low necklines. Just gorgeous. And when I went to audition I had a poodle haircut and just had lipstick and crinolines and a cotton dress." The always unpredictable Prima decided not to wait for intermission to audition Maione. "During the show, he said [with New Orleans accent] ‘We have a little girl here from Tawms River New Jersey and she would like to audition and sing for you.’ And he calls me up and he said, ‘’Do you know ‘I’m in the Mood for Love?’’ And I said ‘Oh yeah!’ I knew everything, because I collected everything he ever did! Back in the variety shows here I did all Louis’ songs."

Maione’s demure appearance concealed a giant singing talent. Prima and his band (Sam Butera and the Witnesses) were duly impressed; just a few days later she found herself headlining her first show at the prestigious Basin Street East in the New York City. That night when the curtain went up Maione could not believe her eyes. “Front row: Ella Fitzgerald, Peggy Lee, Jackie Gleason, Robert Mitchum, Anita Louise, Walter Winchell, Hedda Hopper," said a still awe struck Maione-Prima. "I want to tell you, I was not nervous, but the guitar player couldn’t play a lick. [laughs] He was scared to death!" Indeed, one celebrity in the audience seemed to be sharing in the nervousness. "Jackie Gleason spilled a drink on Ella Fitzgerald’s cleavage by accident," laughed Maione-Prima. "He was going to toast Louis and when he went like that [raises arm] it went right on poor Ella. That was a big laugh, trying to clean her off and all."

And as if that wasn't enough, later that same week the band was booked to play the Ed Sullivan Show. Now the little girl who sang Louis Prima songs at variety shows in Toms River was now on television in front of millions.

"We didn’t even have rehearsal time,” explained Maione-Prima. On the show, she performed “I Want You to be My Baby,” which quickly became her signature song. "Baby" showcases a breath-takingly rapid-fire delivery that could stop Eminem in his tracks. “[It] was a song that I had been singing," said Maione-Prima with a laugh, "So I just told them what key and [the band] did it and Louis chimed in to try to make it a little routine for us."

It wasn't long before the little routine turned into big love. On Lincoln’s Birthday 1963 Prima popped the question in a parked limo between shows at Harrah’s in Lake Tahoe. As Maione-Prima tells it, he met her at the side entrance of Harrah’s, got into the limo, produced two rings and said, "I’d like to marry you, now." Before you could say “Zooma Zooma,” they were in front of the justice of the peace. Ever the professionals, they got back just in time for their second set. "Louis took me onstage and introduced me as Gia-Maione-Prima for the first time. Sam and the boys fell on the ground."

As the 60s wore on, the Primas began to see that the times they were a’ changing. The live act was still a major attraction but record execs were now looking across the pond to fill their roster. "In 1963, when the Beatles landed music changed forever,” remembers Maione-Prima. “With a company like Capitol, people like Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Louis and all these great performers were put on a back burner. If you didn’t have an English accent they didn’t want to put your stuff out there. And so Louis said ‘I’m not gonna take this.’" So, in Prima-Maione’s words, “Louis re-invented himself.”

He decided to form his own label, Prima 1 Magnagroove Records, which stayed in business until 1975 when the singer took ill and fell into a coma from which he never recovered. The albums--which could be obtained only at shows or via a mailing list--are quite remarkable in sound quality and musicianship and more than hold their own against Prima’s best. During the past year Maione-Prima has been hard at work getting them reissued. “I remastered them all myself in the studio with Dennis Drake in [Morganville] and had them pressed and we kept the artwork and everything intact as the original covers. And we’re having wonderful response."

These days Maione-Prima tirelessly goes about the family business; she promises more CD reissues as well as DVD in the near future. When asked about her favorite Prima song, she just smiles. "I cannot tell you. I have so many. This is gonna sound corny, but I play his music all the time. As a kid, as an adult, and now as a senior citizen, there’s no better way to clean your house and do your chores than blast Louis, because he gives you the energy, and he makes it a pleasure."


Louis, Gia, and You Know Who.  Circa 1960s.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE PRIMA 1 MAGNAGROOVE REISSUES GO TO www.louisprima.com

  
                                                                                                   ----- Ed Kaz

Remember when Tom Fogerty left Creedence Clearwater Revival? 
Well, neither do I, actually.

At the time, he didn't seem to be an essential member.  Brother John was the mastermind, writing the songs, singing and playing lead guitar while hapless Tom was relegated to rhythm guitar position.  Yet, as soon as he left, Creedence fell into disarray, only to break up shortly thereafter.

Which brings us to the Marx Brothers. 

When Zeppo departed the team, they made exactly one classic (A Night at the Opera) and followed that success with several resounding duds.  Without Zeppo to provide the rhythm, the tempo tumbled and the comedy collapsed. 

The lesson?  Be good to your brother or you might get really screwed later.

You can catch Zeppo in action in Universal's DVD boxed-set The Marx Brothers Silver Screen Collection.  It contains all the Marx movies that matter:  Duck Soup, Horsefeathers, Monkey Business, Animal Crackers and The Cocoanuts.

Give Zeppo some props, people.  He may have been the one without a costume or any sort of accent, but he sure was one swell crooner.  Check out his pipes in Monkey Business, doing Chevalier proud as he attempts to sneak past customs.  You'll see what I mean.

He left the group after the Duck Soup and went on to marry Barbara Marx, who went on to marry Frank Sinatra.  I'll bet Ol' Blue Eyes found Zeppo to be one tough act to follow. 

A side note:  Zeppo's three brothers also appear in these movies.  They're not very good singers, though.

                                                                            ----Ed Kaz

Here's my comedy column in Friday's Asbury Park Press

METALLY UNBALANCED
By Ed Kaz !
Comedy Correspondent

Jim Florentine is one busy funnyman.  The third season of  "That Metal Show" (co-hosted with fellow comic Don Jamieson)  just made its premiere on VH1 Classic.  Early next year he'll be featured in the film "A Little Help" starring Jenna Fischer and Chris O'Donnell.  The cutting-edge comic is an acknowledged master of the prank call;  his series of CDs, "Terrorizing Telemarketers," are the stuff of legend.

Florentine--who cites Rodney Dangerfield as his number one influence--makes an appearance at The Stress Factory in New Brunswick this weekend.  
 
KAZ!:  Congratulations on your third season as host of That Metal Show on VH1 Classic!  It seems as though Heavy Metal and comedy go hand-in-hand for some reason.  What's the connection?

FLORENTINE:  Heavy metal doesn't take itself serious just like comedy. Metal people have a sense of humor unlike most other genres of music.

KAZ!:  How do Heavy Metal fans differ from regular people?
 
FLORENTINE:  Heavy Metal fans are social outcasts who s it in their room on Friday night listening to music instead of hanging with the "in crowd" and doing corny stuff like going bowling.

KAZ!:  What's your favorite metal song for air guitar purposes?



FLORENTINE:  "Eruption" by Van Halen.

KAZ!:  Who was your favorite guest so far?

FLORENTINE:  Rob Halford from Judas Priest. Super cool guy and big fan of the show which makes him even cooler.

KAZ!:  "Terrorizing Telemarketers" is mean-spirited, tasteless, and borderline evil.  How did you come up with such a brilliant idea?

FLORENTINE:  I grew up strict Catholic so it's my evil rebellious side coming out when I do those calls.

KAZ!:  Give me an example of a prank phone call that went horribly wrong.

FLORENTINE:  A newspaper wanted me to sign up for a subscription. I told them could I just get the paper delivered for a week because I have inhalation anthrax.  They hung up and fifteen minutes later the cops were at my door.
 
KAZ!:  What is the absolute worst gig you ever had?

FLORENTINE:  Performing at a strip club in between the dancers' sets. I did get paid in lap dances though.

KAZ!:   Do people always expect you to be funny, even at moments when you are not supposed to be funny, like when you're at the Arby's Drive-thru?

FLORENTINE:  Yes they do. That's why I tell people I cut lawns for a living.
 
KAZ!:  How excited are you that you'll be working in New Brunswick, New Jersey?

FLORENTINE:  The Stress Factory is my home club. Plus they let me drink for free so I'm excited.

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Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.

AsburyKaz@aol.com

 
JIM FLORENTINE
Tonight & Saturday
Stress Factory Comedy Club
90 Church St. New Brunswick
Showtimes 8 & 10:30
Tickets: $22
Reservations:
(732)-545-4242
www.stressfactory.com
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