editor UN edited

Time now for yet another episode of that high concept/low-content new reality series editor UN edited,  detailing the day-to-day dealings of Rich the New York City Reality TV Editor.

EPISODE 55: "BAD DAY IN EDIT 4 (Part 2)"
Rich's bad day continues and Assistant Editor Jake bears his brunt.

Tune in next time for ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE of editor UN edited on most of these Xanga stations.

Credits:
Rich:  Irate and stuff
Jake:  Nice body language
Elizabeth:  Gratuitous cameo
 
We welcome your comments and suggestions.
Please print neatly and legibly in the spaces provided below.
Thank you,
The Producers of editor UN edited

Filmed in KAZ-O-VISION®
"Dark and Seedy"

---------------------------------
For previous episodes
and much much more,
tune in to Capnquirky!
---------------------------------

editor UN edited

Time now for yet another episode of that high concept/low-content new reality series editor UN edited,  detailing the day-to-day dealings of Rich the New York City Reality TV Editor.

EPISODE 54: "BAD DAY IN EDIT 4 (Part 1)"
Rich is having a bad day and he has someone to blame.

Tune in next time for ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE of editor UN edited on most of these Xanga stations.

Credits:
Rich:  Hmmph.
Jake:  Hmm?
 
We welcome your comments and suggestions.
Please print neatly and legibly in the spaces provided below.
Thank you,
The Producers of editor UN edited

Filmed in KAZ-O-VISION®
"Dark and Seedy"

---------------------------------
For previous episodes
and much much more,
tune in to Capnquirky!
---------------------------------

editor UN edited

Time now for yet another episode of that high concept/low-content new reality series editor UN edited,  detailing the day-to-day dealings of Rich the New York City Reality TV Editor.

EPISODE 53: "ART HOUSE CONFIDENTIAL"
Assistant Editor Jake is a renowned film buff and he's in for a big surprise:  Rich brought in his super-cool super-expensive Janus Films box set.  Dude.

Tune in next time for ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE of editor UN edited on most of these Xanga stations.

Credits:
Rich:  Finder of new awesome things to distract the workers.
Jake:  Easily distracted to begin with.
Kaz:  Ditto.
Mark and Charlie: Don't need to know who Jake is.

We welcome your comments and suggestions.
Please print neatly and legibly in the spaces provided below.
Thank you,
The Producers of editor UN edited

Filmed in KAZ-O-VISION®
"Dark and Seedy"

---------------------------------
For previous episodes
and much much more,
tune in to Capnquirky!
---------------------------------

editor UN edited

Time now for yet another episode of that high concept/low-content new reality series editor UN edited,  detailing the day-to-day dealings of Rich the New York City Reality TV Editor.

EPISODE 52: "NEW KID ON THE TERRABLOCK"
The
newly installed terrablock--a centralized storage system for editing
media--is having issues. Assistant Editor Jake has been called in to
resolve the problem. Will Jake fix it or does Jake suck?

Tune in next time for ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE of editor UN edited on most of these Xanga stations.

Credits:
Rich:  Thinks "terrablock" sounds funny.
Jake: Sucks.

We welcome your comments and suggestions.
Please print neatly and legibly in the spaces provided below.
Thank you,
The Producers of editor UN edited

Filmed in KAZ-O-VISION®
"Dark and Seedy"

My name is Edmund.

What's
in a name?  Plenty.  A name can be very dangerous in the
wrong hands.  This is why, when picking out a name for your child,
you must place yourself in the mindset of the first-grader in the
playground.  Will the name be kid-proof? 

Case
in
point:  You should never name your kid Richard, because he'll be
called Dick soon enough.  And why, WHY, would anyone name their
child Hyman?  Come on now!  I don't care if Hyman has been in
your family for generations.  Hyman guarantees a daily ass-kickin'
on the school bus.  Simply put, any name that could even be
remotely associated with a human body part will scar a kid for
life.  You love your kid, right?  Then don't name him Oral.

But
when it comes down to it, no name is ever truly safe.  Take mine
for instance: "Ed." Fairly innocuous, right? Wrong.  I've been
called Eddie Spaghetti, Shmed, Scred, Eddie Confetti and the
perennial favorite, Mr. Ed.  UGH.  Nothing bugs me more than that
one.  Some stupid sitcom about a talking horse runs for maybe two
seasons like a hundred years ago and people still think it's funny to
address me as Mr. Ed.  But I keep telling myself it could be
worse; my name could have been Hyman. 

Oh!  And you know what else bugs me?  When people insist on calling me Edward. 
My name is Edmund, and when I meet people, I say "Hello. My name is
Edmund."  Then a day or two later it's "Hello Edward!"  At
first I tried to correct them, but I've been greeted with the blank "So
what?" stare so many times that I've given up.  To them it's "What's
the difference?"  Well...there's a difference.  My name is
EDMUND! 

And really, Edmund is a way cooler name than
Edward anyway.  I mean, don't get me wrong;  Edward is nice,
but it's kind of common. Edmund, on the other hand, is regal. 
Edmund is special. 

Oh yeah, that just reminded me. I get this one too:  "Hey Special Ed!" 

Ha.
 
Don't ya just love people?

                                                                
-----Ed Kaz

From the Home Office in Shell Pile New Jersey:

TOP 10 REASONS WHY BARACK OBAMA SHOULD CHOOSE ED KAZ AS HIS VICE PRESIDENTIAL RUNNING MATE:

10.  I have  zero experience.  This will make you look really good.

9.   I have a whole range of fake sincere expressions I can make behind you at the State of the Union Address.

8.   I have no desire to run for President someday--I'm a big second-banana kinda guy. Jerry Colonna, Potsie,  Nicole Richie...these are my role models.

7.   I'll be really good at creating a diversion when Oprah shows up every damn day.

6.  Unlike other VPs I have really safe hobbies.  Who ever got shot in the face playing sodoku? 

5.  You're all about change and I always carry spare change.

4.  Come on!  Who would you rather play hoops with after work?  That girl Hillary?

3.  I don't have any big scandals in my past (just so long as nobody talks to anyone on Xanga).

2.  When you're passing the torch to the new generation, I'll keep an extinguisher handy in case one of those stupid new generation kids drops the damn thing.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY BARACK OBAMA SHOULD CHOOSE ED KAZ AS HIS VICE PRESIDENTIAL RUNNING MATE:

1.  I'll be in charge of manufacturing the  "Yes. We Will. Just Be Freakin' Patient, Will Ya?" buttons.

                                                                
-----Ed Kaz

I'm walkin.'  Yes indeed.




REVIEW
Men's New Balance Sneakers M991GL $109.45

I really like these because of their design; one is exclusively for
the left foot while the other works only on the right foot. Genius.
Pure genius.

A word of caution: You'll need a fair knowledge of sneakers before attempting to use
them.  Mine came without instructions, but within a few hours
of "hit and miss" I figured them out.  It's also helpful to take a polaroid
snapshot of how they're tied for future reference.  I did, and now I
have very few problems.

These sneakers are really good if you like to walk a lot. If you
like to sit a lot they are not very useful at all;  Save your money and
get a nice chair.

                                                                
-----Ed Kaz

The foggy windows of time.

It's such a groovy place to talk and maybe watch a show
Down at the drive-in
                  
                   
               ---Brian Wilson


On
a gray October Sunday about ten years ago a friend and I decided to take
a ride down to the Jersey
Shore.  My friend had this real cool "large format" camera and was really
into shooting modern ruins.  And let me tell you, if any place ever deserved the
title
of "modern ruin," it's certainly Asbury Park, New Jersey.  But
that's a
discussion for another time.

As we hit the Route 33 traffic circle (a few miles outside of Asbury)
our
"ruins radar" began picking up a strong signal.  Jutting out of a
densely wooded area was a giant drive-in movie theater screen.  We
skidded off the highway and hopped
out to investigate.

Deep in the dense underbrush we came upon an entire abandoned
drive-in
movie theater.  The giant sign proudly
proclaimed
"SHORE."  This was the Shore Drive-In:  One of the dozens of
drive-ins that thrived in The Garden State from the fifties on into the
seventies.

Back in my coming-of-age period (mid-seventies) many a lost weekend was
spent at one of these open-air cinema palaces.  I have a fond recollection of being driven by
a couple of pals to the Route 1 Drive-In, which just happened to be playing Roger Corman's Big
Doll House.  Man, we really thought we were getting away with
something.  It was the first time I ever saw breasts on a movie
screen--15-foot tall breasts.

There was another drive-in over in South Amboy.  Apparently they
were
beginning to feel the economic pinch from the growth of the
multiplexes, so they began running soft-core movies in order to
survive.  The only
problem with that was the screen was in plain view to drivers coming
over the
Raritan Bridge.  I'd love to take a gander at those accident reports.

My main turf, however, was the Turnpike Drive-In on Route 18 in East
Brunswick.  I learned how to make out at the Turnpike
Drive-In.  My pals and I used to sneak extra kids in the
trunk or sometimes we'd just jump
over the fence.  Heck, why waste three bucks when you can rip your
pants wide-open scaling a rusty wire barricade?  Or better yet, if money was tight you could pull into the department store
parking lot across the street and enjoy the movie without sound. 
What did it matter?  Brando just mumbled anyway.

Trailers of my long-lost youth were projecting against my
brain as I stood silently surveying what remained of the Shore Drive-In.   The door of the snack bar was swinging
open and closed in the October wind;  long having served its last soggy
nacho, mediciney-tasting Coke, or rubbery hot dog.  The metal posts that held
the car speakers were still there;  the
speakers themselves long since pillaged.  A few spools of film were strewn on the rotted floor--the last reel
from the final Friday night double-feature.

I sure hope all those modern condo-dwellers realize that they're living on sacred ground.

                                                                   
----Ed Kaz

Photo Credit:

Christian Hochenberger