April 14, 2010

  • Prodigal Kaz

    I know.  I know.

    You're probably wondering to yourself, "What the heck ever happened to Kaz?  He used to post stuff almost daily! It was witty, cutting-edge, borderline pithy, colorful, semi-sanctimonious and always eminently readable."

    Well, first of all, you're thinking too much, but thanks.

    Where have I been?  Facebook, that's where.  Over at Facebook there's no need for long-winded blogging.  All you have to do is write a few words in a status update.  I found the minimalism of it all to be quite addicting.  Oh dear.  I'm not used to this.  My fingers are getting tired right now. 

    [WE PAUSE WHILE ED RESTS HIS FINGERS]

    Whew!  OK.  I'm back.  Now where was I? Oh yeah.  I was extolling the exacting minimalism of Facebook.  Yeah.  It's cool over there.  You should check it out.  And if you're really adventurous, why not check out Twitter?  It's even more minimalistic than Facebook.

    I know I know. Twitter is dumb.  What's the point of Twitter?  Twitter this.  Twitter that. 

    Truth be told?  Twitter is fun.   You can find out stuff about people really quickly over there.  Need to know what hair lotion Steve Carrell uses?  You'll find out on Twitter.  Want to know which media outlet Britney Spears is currently angry with?  Check out her Tweet.

    Oof!  My fingers are getting tired again.  God, who came up with this idea about blogging in the first place?  No one actually actually reads these self-indulgent screeds, do they?

    [WE PAUSE WHILE ED PACKS HIS TYPING FINGERS IN ICE]

                                                                                           -------- Ed Kaz
    http://www.facebook.com

    http://twitter.com/EdKaz

March 17, 2010

March 12, 2010

March 5, 2010

  • "...I will disembowel you."

    From Friday's Asbury Park Press...

    IT'S NOT A WONDERFUL LIFE
    But it's pretty funny to     Christopher Titus

    By Ed Kaz!
    Comedy Correspondent

    Christopher Titus' many demons are simply hecklers to be dealt with.   For three seasons his horrendously dysfunctional upbringing became fodder for laughs on his Fox sitcom "Titus."  The show explored the darkest side of family life; the result was a weekly dose of primal therapy to both viewer and creator.  Titus brings his uncompromisingly hilarious act to the stage of New Brunswick's Stress Factory this weekend.

    KAZ!:  Your series "Titus" was in my opinion one of the funniest sitcoms ever.   Would you ever consider getting back into a regular TV series?

    TITUS:  I've sold five ideas since "Titus" so TV is something I still want. Spoiler Alert: I have a meeting with FOX on Tuesday and will find out if they are okaying a series based on (stand up act) "Love is Evol" My ex will be pissed.

    KAZ!:  At what age did you realize you were funny?

    TITUS:   Five. When I told my first joke to my dad's friends about how many girls he was sleeping with.

    KAZ!:  Is everything I read about you on Wikipedia true?

    TITUS:  Yes everything on Wikipedia is dead on, including the alien baby and the sex change operation.

    KAZ!:  What is the absolute worst gig you ever had?

    TITUS:   Besides this? Macon Georgia, around 1995.   I jumped on a woman heckler who wouldn't look at the stage.  Then found out she was blind.

    KAZ!:  What is the absolute best gig you ever had?

    TITUS:  Writing, starring, and producing "Titus" but it's second to being a single dad, he says weepingly.

    KAZ!:  Are you a good heckler handler?  Got any heckler-handling tips?

    TITUS:  This is not a challenge but I excel at hecklers.  I've been doing this since I was eighteen.  I will disembowel you.

    KAZ!:  What's your favorite cake?

    TITUS:  Yellow cake uranium because I could sell it to Iran or North Korea and retire on my treasonous profit.

    KAZ!:  What do you love the most about New Brunswick, New Jersey?

    TITUS:  Where?

    -------------------------------------------
    Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.

    AsburyKaz@aol.com

    ***********INFO BOX ***********
    CHRISTOPHER TITUS
    Friday & Saturday
    Stress Factory Comedy Club
    90 Church St. New Brunswick
    Showtimes:
    Friday 8 & 10.30pm
    Saturday, 8 & 10:30 pm
    Tickets: $32
    Reservations: (732)-545-4242
    www.stressfactory.com
    www.christophertitus.com
    ****************************************

February 19, 2010

  • KAZ INTERVIEW: Hal Sparks

    From Friday's Asbury Park Press

    QUANTUM COMEDICS
    There's a science to Hal Sparks' madness

    By Ed Kaz !
    Comedy Correspondent

    How does Hal Sparks create comedy?  Depends on the moment:  "Some of it comes in a flash; an honest revelation about what in particular makes something absurd," explained the comic, "and sometimes I am distressed, angered, or annoyed by something and I go at it as a writer and researcher. You have to pick it up and look at it from all angles to see its flaws and limitations."  Sparks' scientific approach to laugh getting--which regularly makes audiences roar on TV, radio, film, and every Internet social networking site imaginable--is on exhibit this weekend at New Brunswick's Stress Factory comedy club.     

    KAZ!:  Hal, you grew up in Peaks Mill, Kentucky. I'm assuming that Peaks Mill had a mill of some sort. What was their major export?

    SPARKS:  Um...me actually. I was the most lucrative thing to come out of Peaks Mill.

    KAZ!:  Is everything I read about you on Wikipedia true?

    SPARKS:  Yes. Except the stuff I added myself.

    KAZ!:  Did you ever come up with a joke that you personally thought was hysterical but got absolutely no reaction whatsoever?

    SPARKS:  Yes. But that really only happens on dates. Specifically first dates...that are almost never followed by a second.

    KAZ!:  Do people always expect you to be funny, even at moments when you are not supposed to be funny, like when you're buying light bulbs at True Value Hardware?

    SPARKS:  I expect me to be funny in those moments. I take joy in it and the idea that I could make some fun out of thin air has always appealed to me. More people seem to think you should be funny all the time and they accuse you of always being on; When you stop joking these are usually the first people to complain.

    KAZ!:  What's your favorite cake?

    SPARKS:  There's a Vegan banana creme cake at Real Food Daily (in Santa Monica) that is great. I'll have that on occasion when I eat there. Otherwise cake is something I can really do without.

    KAZ!:  What's the big plan for Hal Sparks, circa 2010?

    SPARKS:  My goal of being on every social networking site in existence is getting closer every day. This year for me is all about touring, streaming, and tweeting...and avoiding cake.

    -------------------------------------------
    Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.

    AsburyKaz@aol.com

    HAL SPARKS
    Friday & Saturday
    Stress Factory Comedy Club
    90 Church St. New Brunswick
    Showtimes:
    Friday 8 & 10pm
    Saturday, 8 & 10:30 pm
    Tickets: $18
    Reservations: (732)-545-4242
    www.stressfactory.com
    www.twitter.com/HalSparks

February 6, 2010

  • From the home office in Shell Pile New Jersey...

      TOP TEN THINGS WE'LL LEARN FROM THE 2010 CENSUS 

    [drum roll]

    10. Turns out its true: Everyone named Patel is a doctor.

    9. Citing moral objections, 97% of Christians say they refuse to “check the box.”

    8. Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey. No sh*t.

    7. Rappers consistently inflate their figures on the “number of bullet wounds” question.

    6. 14% of parents claim they named their child Dylan after Bob Dylan; 86% claim they named their child Dylan because that older kid down the street is named Dylan so why the hell not.

    5. A 12% increase in Americans listing “Actor in Tony and Tina’s Wedding” as occupation.

    4. 48% ended each answer with “NOSEY!”

    3. More Americans rent than own, while 27% say they “got owned.”

    2. There are now slightly more space aliens living in Kenosha Wisconsin than Ansted West Virginia.

    AND THE NUMBER ONE THING WE'LL LEARN FROM THE 2010 CENSUS:

    1. For location, 79% checked the “I practically LIVE on Facebook” box.


                                                                                                ---- Ed Kaz

January 22, 2010

  • "Ouija board in the dressing room!"

    The Kaz Column in Friday's Asbury Park Press

    ARJ AT LARGE

    By Ed Kaz !
    Comedy Correspondent

    How best to describe Arj Barker?

    We'll let his MySpace bio do it for us: "I’m a stand-up comedian, and I love my job, because I get to visit exotic places, meet lots of interesting people, and kill them..."

    Well, uh...I'm pretty sure he means that in a comedic way, right? Right. Anyway, Barker plans to continue his audience killing spree this weekend with a stop at New Brunswick's Stress Factory.

    KAZ!: Arj, why would anyone want to become a comedian anyway?

    BARKER: Free booze, lots of attention, and you can sleep in nearly everyday!

    KAZ!: How does funny stuff come to you?

    BARKER: Ouija board in the dressing room!

    KAZ!: Do people always expect you to be funny, even at moments when you are not supposed to be funny, like when you’re pricing leaf-blowers at Target?

    BARKER: I don’t shop at Target for that reason. I go to another store called "Just Leaf-Blowers," and everybody shows up at Target like "Where is he?" Burned!

    KAZ!: What's your favorite cake?

    BARKER: I like ice cream cake the best because all other cake needs ice cream to be good, but with ice cream cake the ice cream is built in!

    KAZ!: If you weren't doing comedy, what the heck WOULD you be doing?

    BARKER: Very similar to what I do already, only I’d have that extra free hour at night.

    KAZ!: What do you love the most about New Brunswick, New Jersey?

    BARKER: I love the audiences at the Stress Factory. So respectful and intelligent. Can’t wait!

    --------------------------


    Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.

    AsburyKaz@aol.com

    ARJ BARKER
    Friday & Saturday
    Stress Factory Comedy Club
    90 Church St. New Brunswick
    Showtimes:
    Friday & Saturday, 8 & 10:30 pm
    Tickets: $20
    Reservations: (732)-545-4242
    www.stressfactory.com
    www.arjbarker.com

January 15, 2010

  • "If you want to blame anyone, blame Courtney."

    It's the Kaz Comedy Column from Friday's Asbury Park Press...
     
    GOAL-ORIENTED COMEDY
    Greg Fitzsimmons wants to change the world with laughter
     
    By Ed Kaz!
    Comedy Correspondent

    Greg Fitzsimmons has set a lofty goal for himself in 2010:   "I have a book coming out in the fall from Simon and Schuster called  'Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons,'" explained the California-based funnyman. "Between now and then I will be trying to build up my Internet presence and setting up promotional dates so the book does well.  Oh yeah, and I'm going to write the book."  Another goal (less lofty, but actually attainable) will be his gig at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick this weekend.

    KAZ!:   Greg, why the heck would anyone want to be a comedian anyway? 

    FITZSIMMONS:  To change the world.  No offense, world, but folk singers came up a little short and people dismiss Dianetics so I felt like I had to step up.

    KAZ!:    Is everything I read about you on Wikipedia true?

    FITZSIMMONS:  My mom does tend to exaggerate, but to be perfectly honest I have never read my Wikipedia. That is actually not true, but it seems like the cool minor celebrity thing to say.  Although in the case of David Cross, I don't think he even reads tweets about himself.  He's the real deal.

    KAZ!:   Do you blame Yoko?

    FITZSIMMONS:  No. I like Yoko very much. I think it's misogynistic to blame Yoko. If you want to blame anyone, blame Courtney.

    KAZ!:   If you weren't doing comedy, what the heck WOULD you be doing?

    FITZSIMMONS:  Ice trucking.  Because I probably have a better shot of getting on TV.

    KAZ!:   What do you love most about New Brunswick, New Jersey?

    FITZSIMMONS:  That historic 17-foot walk down Main Street.

    -------------------------------------------
    Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.

    AsburyKaz@aol.com

     
    GREG FITZSIMMONS
    Friday, Saturday, Sunday
    Stress Factory Comedy Club
    90 Church St. New Brunswick
    Showtimes:
    Friday & Saturday, 8 & 10:30 pm
    Sunday, 8 pm
    Tickets: $22
    Reservations: (732)-545-4242
    www.stressfactory.com 

January 8, 2010

  • SPIKED!

    From Friday's Asbury Park Press

    THE ORIGINAL SPIKE TV
    By Ed Kaz !
    Comedy Correspondent

    Subtlety.

    Now that’s a word you'll never see in the same sentence with Spike Jones. You will, however, see words like bombastic, over the top, noisy, and brilliantly outrageous. In the '40s and '50s Spike Jones and His City Slickers--a slap happy amalgam of musical anarchists--meticulously dismembered the American Popular Songbook on radio and records. As a listening experience, they were unparalleled, but you had SEE this to believe it. That situation was remedied in the 1950s when a smart (or crazy?) TV executive decided America needed an antidote to the sweet safe sounds of Lawrence Welk and Mitch Miller.



    Bring on Spike Jones. BOOM! CRASH! BANG! HONK!

    Jones' legacy of lunacy in TV’s Golden Age is captured in full low-def kinescope glory on a brand new DVD collection entitled "The Best of Spike Jones: The Funniest Show on Earth."

    This was a sonic bedlam that Frank Zappa or Trent Reznor could only dream of mimicking. For some, Jones and his "Musical Depreciation Revue" was the aural equivalent of an Exedrin Headache. For others, his swinging symphonies of controlled madness were pure nirvana. Firearms are used liberally for percussive effect. Horns honk and sirens sound at inappropriate moments. A specially trained goat would bleat in the key of C. Even a hiccup is used to great effect. Perhaps their greatest triumph--captured on the DVD--is "Cocktails for Two," which begins innocently enough with a silky smooth crooner, only to quickly devolve into gurgling noises and indescribably sonic bedlam. The TV show featured guest appearances from the likes of Eddy Arnold, Zasu Pitts, and kiddie show icon Howdy Doody, who along with his partners Buffalo Bob and Clarabelle the Clown perform their own version of a Spike Jones smash.

    If you want to see and hear an example of a true American musical genius (or if you just want to annoy your neighbors), put "The Best of Spike Jones" into your DVD player, and play it LOUD.


    DVD
    THE BEST OF SPIKE JONES
    Featuring Spike Jones, Billy Barty,
    Doodles Weaver, Sir Frederick Gas, and others.
    Infinity Entertainment/Hepcat
    Not Rated
    Available in stores or at
    www.infinity-entertainmentgroup.com

January 2, 2010

  • "...a really big rocket ship."

    From Friday's Asbury Park Press

    BYE BYE '09
    By Ed Kaz !
    Comedy Correspondent

    Sick of all those lengthy lists looking back at the last year? Well, dear reader, be sick no more. Here's the only list you'll ever need to encapsulate all things notable in '09.

    TOP 10 NOTABLE EVENTS OF 2009:

    10. Aretha Franklin's inauguration hat goes out on tour, outdrawing Bon Jovi. A nervous Richie Sambora is spotted at Freehold Mall pricing fedoras.

    9.Just in time for the chilly disease season, a new TV infomercial debuts the Haz-Mat Snuggie.

    8.Oscar Meyer passes away. Memorial service held at the Los Angeles Staples Center concession stand.

    7.President Obama holds historic "Beer Summit'' with Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Police Sgt. James Crowley.  Afterward, Air Force One is pulled over for swerving.

    6. Bob Dylan is spotted wandering around a Long Branch neighborhood. Instead of calling the cops, locals seize the opportunity to demand refunds from his "Masked and Anonymous'' movie.

    5. NASA blows up the moon and finds the contents of Al Capone's vault.

    4. Campbell's, in an attempt to be more relevant to the online generation, introduces Spaghetti-LOLs.

    3. Bruce Springsteen turns 60. He decides to hook his stage lights up to a Clapper. He quickly abandons the idea after Giants Stadium blows a fuse and plunges half of New Jersey into darkness.

    2. NASA discovers water on the moon. Poland Spring builds a really big rocket ship.

    And the #1 NOTABLE EVENT OF 2009:

    1. Golf course groundhog emerges early and sees his shadow; Tiger Woods jokes will continue for six more weeks.

                                                                                              --- Ed Kaz !