Hey there, it's been a while.  Not much, how about you?

For those I've missed, Happy Labor Day!  Happy Halloween!  And in case I'm not around, Happy Thanksgiving!

OK I think I have it covered.

Love you guys.

Kaz

This is a great coin purse. The only problem?  No instruction manual.  After a few hours, though, I was able to figure it out.

The best thing about this coin purse is the zipper.  What an amazing invention!  It keeps the coins safely inside until you need them.  For years I used a plastic bag with a twisty top and that was such a hassle. The zipper invention makes all the problems go away.

Now if only I had some coins.   Brother, can you spare a dime?

Thank you.

                                                                         ---------- Ed Kaz

 

What took the Stones so long to release this?  My guess is Ron Wood kept talking them out of it...

"Ladies & Gentlemen" is pure dirty Exile-era Stones. Serious about the music. If you need to learn what all the fuss is about and have only witnessed later concert films (the inferior "We're the Stones You Should Love Us Just Because" vibe of "Let's Spend the Night Together"), this document sets the record straight.

The Stones are working hard at this show, looking as if they have something to prove. And prove it they do. It's 1972 and there is still an element of danger in the air for this band. They're deadly serious and are leaning into these numbers. Mick Taylor--the sequel to Brian Jones and the prequel to Ron Wood--stands stock still and delivers those chilling licks that made Exile on Main Street legendary. Heck, even good ole honorary Stone Nicky Hopkins is on board for some rollicking piano fills.

This show just builds and builds. By the time they crash head on into Midnight Rambler you feel as if there's no other rock 'n' roll band.

And there IS no other rock 'n' roll band.

THIS is the Stones.

You SHOULD love them.

Because of THIS.

                                                                      ---- Ed Kaz

Friday's Asbury Park Press

HERE COMES THE JUDGE!

By Ed Kaz !
Comedy Correspondent

Comic Andy Kindler is a regular TV phenom these days.  He’s been featured on Comedy Central’s new hit show, "Tosh.0," Fox’s "The Kilborn File," and most prominently on this summer’s Last Comic Standing, where he shares judging duties on that NBC show with fellow comics Greg Giraldo and Natasha Leggero.   With all this quality big-time exposure you’d think Amazon’s Jeff Bezos would give him a call.  But nooo!

KINDLER:  I’m eating a bagel.  Actually I’m not feeling that well.  I’m nauseous.  

KAZ!:  Oh really?  Well, hopefully this interview will not make you more nauseous.  You’ve been a busy guy, Andy.  You deserve to be nauseous.  You’ve earned it!
 
KINDLER:  Finally, right?  It’s been a good year, for a change.

KAZ!:  You were big for a while and then you kind of evened out and now all of a sudden BOOM!  NBC!

KINDLER:  Yeah.  Up and down.  I love that up and down:  Maybe you can’t pay your rent, maybe you could buy a house!  

KAZ!:   My readers want to know: Does Andy Kindler Kindle?  

KINDLER:  You know, when the [Amazon’s digital e-book reader] Kindle first came out, my friend who’s a writer …he actually knows Jeff Bezos [head of Amazon] and he emailed Jeff Bezos and said “Andy Kindler--his name is very similar--he should do commercials for you.”  And I never heard anything about it again.  [laughs]  But yeah, every time I see it in the paper.  I see “Kindle” and I think it’s my name.  That’s how excited I get; that it’s even close to being my name.

KAZ!:   I wonder what Gary iPad thinks about all this.

KINDLER:  [laughs]  Yeah!  What’s his problem with it?  What does Sam Mobile Device think when he sees the thing?

KAZ!:   I've noticed on Last Comic Standing, that virtually every audience cutaway contains at least three good-looking women.  Why is that?

KINDLER:  It’s part of my rider.  Because when I’m watching the show at home, I’ve already done the show.  I need to enjoy the show now.  So I had put in my rider “Please show hot babes.”  I put in my rider “scantily clad.” I never had a rider though.  I’d like to get into that kind of ball park.

KAZ!:  Would it kill Greg Giraldo to shave?

KINDLER:  It’s his look.  Greg Giraldo has a look of kind of a sexy disheveled man.  I can achieve half of that.  I can be disheveled.
 
KAZ!:   This runs in the Asbury Park Press and Bruce Springsteen may be reading this.  Could you please say something nice about him?

KINDLER:   Our lives are almost virtually connected. There’s no reason why Bruce should not come down to the club and I will do an act just for him.  Routines all about obscure music references.  Like I do a “Dr. Rhythm” chunk.  I do a fantastic bit about an MXR distortion pedal.  [Instead of] “What’s the difference between men and women?” what’s the difference between a Phase Shifter and a Chorus?

KAZ!:   He’ll love that.

KINDLER:  It’s fantastic.  

KAZ!:   There are a lot of great comics turning up on Last Comic Standing.  Do you feel threatened by any of these people?

KINDLER:  [laughs]  My thing was never being threatened by comics.  I think it’s more about envy about people doing extremely well, who bug me. [laughs]   Envy and jealousy as opposed to I’m afraid someone’s gonna come up and there won’t be enough room for comedy.

KAZ!:  Well it seems like there’s enough room.  And just like there’s always room for Jello, there’s always room for Andy Kindler.

KINDLER:  I agree with that. That’s a good tag.

KAZ!:  You can add that to your resume.

KINDLER:  I sure will.
----------------------------------------
Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.

Asburykaz@aol.com

 
ANDY KINDLER
Friday & Saturday
Stress Factory Comedy Club
90 Church St. New Brunswick
Showtimes: Tonight and Saturday  8 & 10:30pm
Tickets: $23
(732)-545-4242
www.stressfactory.com
www.nbc.com/last-comic-standing
 

From Friday's Asbury Park Press...

LAUGH OR GET OUT OF THE WAY
Mike DeStefano pulls no punches on the way to laughs
By Ed Kaz !
Comedy Correspondent

Mike DeStefano doesn’t pull back.  On hecklers:  “I tell them to shut up and if they didn’t I would threaten ‘em.” said the Bronx-born comic,  “Physically threaten ‘em with the mic stand or something.”  Brutal honesty is this Bronx-born comic’s stock in trade, and in his case, honesty begets comedy.  DeStefano took a unique path to comedy;  a former long-term drug user (fifteen years), he decided to get clean at age thirty and took a gig as a drug counselor.   When called upon to entertain at a convention, he discovered new addiction:  Laughter.  “The first time I got up I got one laugh,” recalled DeStefano, “and I thought if I can get one laugh I could get a thousand laughs.”   Thousands of laughs later, DeStefano found himself on national television this summer, landing in the top five on NBC’s Last Comic Standing.  On the final show he graciously thanked his voters and told the others to bleep off.   Like I said, brutal honesty.

KAZ!:  Mike, has your crazy screaming success on Last Comic Standing affected you in any way?

DESTEFANO:  It’s like night and day.  Before the show I was an unknown and runnin’ around the city and havin’ a little bit of success but then now I have national exposure so yeah, it’s a big deal and you know, a little crazy.

 KAZ!:    Why the heck would anyone want to be a comedian anyway?

DESTEFANO:  I don’t know. I guess you realize you’re good at it and then you realize how rare a gift it is that you’re good at it and then you can’t really turn your back on it.

KAZ!:  At what age did you realize you were funny?

DESTEFANO:  Well I knew I was funny when I was a kid but then when I was like, thirty-three was when I started comedy, when I got off drugs.  So I started doing standup.

KAZ!:  Were you funny when you were on drugs?

DESTEFANO:  No. Not at all.

KAZ!:  What’s the best gig you ever had?

DESTEFANO:  The best gig I had was over at the Beacon Theatre where I opened for Dennis Leary.  They called me twenty-five minutes before the show, so they put me on at the last minute.  Someone else cancelled.  

KAZ!:  So you didn’t have time to get nervous about it.

DESTEFANO:  No.  I had to rush down there. I illegally parked my car with my groceries in it, ran inside and did ten minutes and it was amazing.

KAZ!:  What's the number one misconception that people have of you?

DESTEFANO:  I think a lot of times people misunderstand, I’m very complex, but I’m committed to every aspect of my personality.  So one day someone will see me being really kind and sweet and the next day…I could choke you or hug you, either way.  You know?  It’s really just up to how you treat me.  And people find that they don’t know what I am and that’s fine because I’m both of ‘em.  I’m all of it.

KAZ!:  So how are you feeling toward me right now?

DESTEFANO:  Oh great!  You’re fine, dude.  
--------------------------
Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.

Asburykaz@aol.com

 
MIKE DESTEFANO
Friday & Saturday
Stress Factory Comedy Club
90 Church St. New Brunswick
Showtimes: Tonight and Saturday  8 & 10:30pm
Tickets: $20
(732)-545-4242
www.stressfactory.com
www.puppiesandheroin.com
****************************************

From 5.25.10, here's the unedited transcript of my interview with legendary comic Robert Klein for the Asbury Park Press.

[Klein was promoting his show at the Prime Time Comedy Club and Theater in Sayreville NJ]

KAZ!: Robert, have you ever been been to Sayreville?

KLEIN: Probably, but I don’t know.

KAZ!: It’s kind of one of those places you pass through to go somewhere else.

KLEIN: I’ve been in Allamuchy. Have you? Allamuchy New Jersey. But what about Sayreville? You know this place? You know it as the Prime Time Comedy Club?

KAZ!: Yeah, but it used to be a porno house.

KLEIN: Really?

KAZ!: Yeah. For years and years.

KLEIN: There’s probably more DNA there than CSI Miami. So what is it? A little theater, kind of?

KAZ!: To paraphrase you, put paper on the door as you walk in.

KLEIN: I assume that the microbes are now dormant because it’s been legit for years.

KAZ!: OK, so here’s the thing Robert. I have a bunch of questions and I’d like you to give me quick little answers.

KLEIN: OK. I’ll be ahead of ya. No. No. Yeah. So that takes care of three of ‘em.

KAZ!: First of all, I’d like to say that for me, you’re right up there with the Beatles and Captain Kangaroo.

KLEIN: I think you’ve got a good point. What was Captain Kangaroo’s real name?

KAZ!: Bob Keeshan!

KLEIN: Bob Keeshan. How old are you?

KAZ!: Fifty-three.

KLEIN: Oh really? You sound much younger. Very immature. That’s a compliment when you’re fifty-three. Go ahead. Hit me with some questions.

KAZ!: I would say that you were the first Rock and Roll comic and I’ll tell you why. I used to listen to stations like WNEW-FM and in between rock songs they would play cuts from your “Child of the 50‘s” album.

KLEIN: Believe me, it was tough to persuade them to do that but they did it. When “Child of the 50’s” came out in ‘73 no one was playing comedy. A few successful comedy albums had been produced. George Carlin “AM FM” and Lilly Tomlin had one. They sort of had plateaued after the “First Family” album in ‘62 or ‘61.

But anyway, it was a real breakthrough to get them to play comedy. I did do large concerts sometimes. The biggest ones were either in a few college arenas and I did several summers at the Wollman Skating Rink at Central Park for sixty five or seven hundred thousand people. Those were great. And my hair got longer and all that, but George Carlin was in show business five years ahead of me.

Anyway I’m certainly among the first of that. In fact when I wore jeans to the Tonight Show (with Johnny Carson) I got a note from the producer telling me that Johnny wants me to wear a tie and jacket. [laughs]

KAZ!: I don’t think people realize how many films you’ve done.

KLEIN: I’ve done about forty movies actually. Not many prominent ones, but…

KAZ!: I’ve seen a couple. I saw the one with Burt Reynolds.

KLEIN: That was one of the biggest ones I ever did and one of the biggest parts. “Hooper.” That was a huge box office…it’s actually a very good movie.

KAZ!: I would say that was one of the last good Burt Reynolds movies. He kind of started to go downhill after that.

KLEIN: I guess. I really didn’t follow him…

KAZ!: And I don’t blame you, Robert.

KLEIN: Oh no. It wasn’t my fault. You know I did a commencement three years ago a Monmouth College. It’s my third honorary doctor degree. I can play doctor three times over. Fittingly, I play J-Lo’s gynecologist in the new movie “Back Up Plan.”

KAZ!: Oh really? You’re in that?

KLEIN: Yeah. I haven’t seen it. I’m waiting for DVD.

KAZ!: Wow. That had to be nice for you.

KLEIN: Yeah. It’s make believe. It’s not killing at the box office.

KAZ!: What was your most memorable couch-sharing experience on the Johnny Carson Show?

KLEIN: Well, we used to smoke in those days. I did my stand up, I did my panel, I killed ‘em. I think it was in New York then. I light up and Johnny lit up. Brings out Tony Randall. He sees the cigarette, he goes “Oh! Smoking!” He looks at me and he goes “Please don’t smoke!” I start putting it out, and Johnny’s going, oh there’s Tony Randall, he hates smoking. He starts putting it out. But [Randall] doesn’t leave well enough alone, he goes, “Lips that touch tobacco will nevah touch mine!” Don’t worry about it Tony. I had no intention of kissing you any time in the near future.

[Johnny] told me once that Jackie Gleason was a terrible drinker; he fainted after two drinks. He said he could drink him under the table, which sounded pretty stupid at the time [laughs].

I once grabbed for my water, which was in a coffee cup, a mug. It was Johnny’s. It was vodka. I gulped it, thinking it was water. I almost passed out. He didn’t always do that but he did his fair share.

I don’t know. It’s hard for me to remember stuff. There was Shari Lewis. Remember her with the puppet?

KAZ!: Yeah! Lamb Chop!

KLEIN: Lamb Chop. She was a surprising pain in the ass. I always admired her talent. I had done my turn, now she came out. The producer would always say to me, “Please. Don’t leave. You’re sitting here, if you have something,” he knew I wouldn’t hog time or anything like that, “if you have something funny to say.” So she sat down and she’s telling stories, blah blah blah, and I see an in, I shoot a line and everybody laughs, and it wasn’t insulting to her at all, it was just something on what she said. Johnny laughed to and she goes “That’s not funny!” I couldn’t believe it! “You think that’s funny?” I go, “Ladies and gentlemen! Lamb Chop is a sweat sock with buttons!” What a bitchy thing.

KAZ!: Wow. And she always came off as such a sweetheart.

KLEIN: Four foot eleven of show business dynamite.

KAZ!: What’s your favorite cake?

KLEIN: I don’t think I have a favorite cake. A good cake can get me. A good carrot cake, because it’s the illusion that it’s healthful, but it isn’t. I can’t say that I have a favorite cake. I probably do, but I don’t want to hurt any of the other cakes’ feelings. You never know when you might need a favor from a cake.

KAZ!: If you weren’t doing comedy, what do you think you’d be doing?

KLEIN: Pimp. I think I would have been a pimp, but a very kind pimp. I’d be the nicest pimp. I’d just have all these women, they work at their leisure, I’d keep ninety percent of their earnings and they’d have sex with me whenever I want. [pause] Um, I would have gone into the priesthood, I think, if I hadn’t have been Jewish.

KAZ!: I saw some previews of the HBO special, “Unfair and Unbalanced.” It looks really great.

KLEIN: It is. It’s gonna be a really excellent show. We’re working with a symphony orchestra from the University of Miami. It’s cool.

KAZ!: You’ve come a long way from that first one in 1975.

KLEIN: Yes! They’ve come a long way. There were four or five hundred thousand subscribers, now there’s forty-three million, so…

KAZ!: Incredible!

KLEIN: It’s a big jewel in the crown of Time Warner, and I think it’s entirely my doing.

KAZ!: I would have to agree, Robert.

                                                                                       --------- Ed Kaz

I never saw "Saving Private Ryan" because I figured they saved him. Same thing with "Thelma and Louise Drive Off The Cliff"

First, Kevin Costner's centrifugal separators and now Dustin Hoffman has donated 17 million VHS copies of Ishtar to help clog the oil spill.

I got pulled over by a cop and accidentally pulled out my fishing license. He threw me back with a warning.

I was going to attend my company picnic this weekend but it was outsourced. There's a dude taking grill orders over the phone.

I wonder if ghosts tell living people stories at campfires.

I wonder if Nostradamus' mom ever said, "Oh yeah? Well predict this: You're grounded!"

I heard Shania is completely estranged from her family.  Never the Twains shall meet.

I ran into Bobby McFerrin the other day and he said "I'd be worried if I was you."

Shallowly Yours,
Ed Kaz

From Friday's Asbury Park Press...

LAYING DOWN THE GUFFAW
Curt Carlson cops a funny attitude this weekend in Toms River

By Ed Kaz !
Comedy Correspondent

Comic. Club owner. Cop.  Three of the most dangerous jobs on the planet, and Curt Carlson does 'em all.  He's a comic/actor who runs Knuckleheads Comedy Club in Toms River, making sure the Jersey Shore receives its recommended weekly dose of laughter.  Not only that, Carlson is your go-to-cop when it comes to TV police procedurals. Need a crook hustled out of a courtroom on Law & Order SVU?  Dial Curt Carlson.  This busy funnyman will host "Treat Your Mother to Laughter" Saturday night at Knuckleheads.  Keep your hands where he can see 'em.

KAZ!:   Curt, do real cops ever give you a hard time or offer advice?  

CARLSON:  Not really, since I'm a real police officer during the summer on the beach. I try to use real techniques on TV. However sometimes production only wants "TV Real".

KAZ!:  Did you ever have to use any of your police technique on unruly customers at Knuckleheads?

CARLSON:  Only the right to remain silent.

KAZ!:  What's your most memorable moment on Law & Order SVU?

CARLSON:  I had the opportunity to work with Jerry Lewis.  I played a court officer and had to remove him from the courtroom with Richard Belzer. It was surreal working with the comic legend. What amazed me most was that he was always on even at his age.

KAZ!:  Tell me all about this Saturday's  "Treat your Mother to Laughter."  

CARLSON:  Mother's day is on Sunday so we figured why not take her out on Saturday night and get her loaded?  Nothing says "I love you" more than a Mother's Day hangover.  Performing that night will be Eddie Clark, Tim Gage and of course yours truly.

KAZ!:  Do people ever get you confused with the other Curt Carlson I found on the Internet,  the VP and CFO at Advanced Systems Engineering Corporation in Virginia?

CARLSON:   No, I don't have that problem.  He is rich and I am eating a tuna sandwich in my car before I perform to tens of people in Toms River.

KAZ!:  What's your favorite cake?

CARLSON:  I like Yodels. They are like a hand held cake that you can take with you anywhere.

KAZ!:  What's the big five-year plan for Curt Carlson?

CARLSON:  Another Ed Kaz interview.

 
TREAT YOUR MOTHER TO LAUGHTER
Hosted by Curt Carlson with Eddie Clark and Tim Gage
Saturday Night
Knuckleheads Comedy Club
Holiday Inn, 290 Route 37 East
Toms River
Showtime: 9pm
Tickets: $17
Call: (732)-473-9200
www.knuckleheadstomsriver.com
 

The Kaz Column from Friday's Asbury Park Press...

IT'S A DOG'S LIFE
And comic Jeff Norris wants to save a few.

By Ed Kaz!
Comedy Correspondent

For Jeff Norris,  the love that comes from an animal is unconditional.

"If things are going on in your life good or bad and you come home to your pets--for me, especially a dog--the way they greet ya," said the comic/actor. "If something is good going on in your life, they make it better.  If something's bad, they don't make it bad.  They make it better.  It's only the positive feedback with the animals."

So when the idea to do a comedy benefit for a local veterinarian hospital came up, Norris naturally jumped at the chance.  This Saturday, Norris, along with fellow comedians Renee DeLorenzo and Matthew Broderick  headline a Comedy Night Benefit at Jimmy C's in Toms River;  All proceeds go directly to Brick Veterinary Hospital's Angel Fund to help care for sick and homeless pets.

Norris, himself a Brick Town resident--you know him as the voice of the Frosted Mini-Wheat in TV spots--learned about the hospital's fund when he brought his three-year-old white German Shepherd, in for a checkup.  On that particular day the staff was in a somber mood.  "They said that had just put a white German Shepherd down, and they saw my dog," Norris said.  "Apparently this dog was suffering from cancer and the owners spent all their money on it and were out of money.  The fact that they had to put it down because of financial reasons...it was upsetting for me to hear."   When Norris pressed them further he learned that their Angel Fund had run out of money.  "It's something that they put together to help people pay for their animals," explained Norris.   "And they were selling candy bars. And I'm thinking 'How many candy bars do ya gotta sell for a dollar, and give a dog an X-Ray or somethin?'  So I said I'd like to propose something."  

What Norris proposed was the Comedy Night Benefit at Jimmy C's, and he promises it will be a win-win entertainment situation.   "It's a high energy show (and) a night out for a good cause," Norris said."  Guarantee you'll walk out feeling better than you did walkin' in."   

And a whole bunch of furry friends will feel better, too.

 
COMEDY NIGHT BENEFIT
for BRICK TOWN VETERINARY HOSPITAL
with JEFF NORRIS and Renee DeLorenzo and Matthew Broderick
SATURDAY April 24th
All proceeds benefit Brick Town Angel Fund to help
care for sick and homeless pets
Jimmy C's Restaurant and Comedy Club
17 Washington St. Toms River

Dinner 6:30 pm
Show 8:30
Tickets: $30 advance  $35 at the door
Tickest can be purchased at the Brick Town Veterinary Hospital
251 Chambers Bridge Rd. Brick
Call  (732)-473-1183
www.bricktownvet.com

Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.

Asburykaz@aol.com

By Ed Kaz
Amalgamated Press

REYKJAVÍK-- An ever growing list of celebrities have joined together in response to Iceland's mildly annoying volcanic ash disaster which has halted air travel throughout Europe and ruined a lot of people's laundry.

A hastily recorded album entitled DUST-AID will directly benefit Iceland's overextended dust pan and broom industry.  "We totally weren't prepared for this volcanic ash thing," remarked Iceland's president Olafur R.Grimsson. "Geysers? Sure. The Icelandic Army is at the ready around the clock with mops to deal with geysers, but there just aren't enough dust pans and brooms to clean up all this ash."

Celebrities already signed on for DUST-AID include the other guy from Wham!, the bass player from Hootie and the Blowfish, Bob Balaban, two or three Elvis impersonators, Barbra Streisand's sister whats-her-name, and Kanye West.

"Dust in the Wind," the first single from the soon to be released album will hopefully be in stores early next week before everyone forgets all about this thing.

US President Barack Obama issued  a statement earlier today in support of DUST-AID.  "It's time to fundamentally change the way that we do business with Iceland. Therefore I have authorized our military to airlift a few boxes of Swiffers and some of those Sham Wows before the year is over."

"Iceland needs help fast to clean up this dust," added Grimsson, "There's nothing more unsettling than the sound of  Björk sneezing."