Time now for yet another episode of that high concept/low-rent reality series editor UN edited, detailing the day-to-day dealings of Rich the New York City Reality TV Editor.
EPISODE 78: "OUT OF STATE OUT OF MIND"
Rich enjoys a phone chat with the out-of-state series producer.
Tune in next time for ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE of editor UN edited on most of these Xanga stations.
Credits:
Rich: Wears that white shirt all the time for continuity purposes.
Kaz: Glad HE'S not talking (listening) to Blaine.
We welcome your comments and suggestions.
Please print neatly and legibly in the spaces provided below.
Thank you,
The Producers of editor UN edited
Filmed in KAZ-O-VISION®
"Dark and Seedy"
Hi there. I'm Ed Kaz, the writer of this blog entry, and I'll be providing the commentary track. Hope you enjoy it.
FOLK/ROCK SINGER TRADES GUITAR FOR APRON
By Ed Kaz
Amalgamated Press
If you notice, whenever I do these fake news stories I always use "Amalgamated Press." I don't know where I came up with it but it makes me laugh, so I keep using it.
[New
York City] At a rare press conference Thursday, renowned folk/rock
singer Bob Dylan announced he will leave music and open a chain of
pizza restaurants.
I actually came up with this idea from a dream that I had. I was sitting on a bus and I heard a voice in the back yelling out pizza recipes in a rather nasally voice. It was Bob Dylan. I remember saying, "It's so great that you are taking up pizza making, Bob! Isn't it great everyone?" To which the bus erupted in applause. When I awoke, I just knew that I had to write something about it. I had success in the past with dream blogs; one involving Van Morrison as my dentist and another with Herb Alpert as my trumpet professor.
The restaurants--to be called "Bobby D's"--will
feature only slices; each one seemingly indistinguishable from the
last.
Ha Ha! If you've gone to a Dylan concert in the last several years you got the above line right away.
However, once you get halfway through the slice you'll realize
what it is. For example: "Oh! It's mushrooms and anchovies! It didn't
taste like that for the first four and a half minutes!"
There have been several occasions where I didn't know what song he was doing till a few minutes in. That's the enigmatic genius of the man. Or maybe it's the creeping senility, I don't know.
Later,
when reporters transcribed their tapes it was discovered that Dylan was
not in fact opening a chain of pizza restaurants but was announcing an
upcoming tour of Italy.
I had to come up with an ender, so I figured it would be fun to have the reporters making a mistake: They THOUGHT they heard Dylan talking about pizza but he was actually talking about Pisa.
I created this in Photoshop. First I did a Google Image Search for "Pizza Box." Then I wiped out the pizza guy and put Mr. Dylan's image in its place. Dylan is starting to look a bit like the pizza guy these days, isn't he? I resisted the temptation to draw a longer "pizza guy" moustache. I figured that would be a bit too much.
And that concludes my commentary track. Hope you enjoyed it, and maybe even learned something. And, Bob? If you're reading this, you know I love ya!
----Ed Kaz
FOLK/ROCK SINGER TRADES GUITAR FOR APRON
By Ed Kaz
Amalgamated Press
[New York City] At a rare press conference Thursday, renowned folk/rock singer Bob Dylan announced he will leave music and open a chain of pizza restaurants. The restaurants--to be called "Bobby D's"--will feature only slices; each one seemingly indistinguishable from the last. However, once you get halfway through the slice you'll realize what it is. For example: "Oh! It's mushrooms and anchovies! It didn't taste like that for the first four and a half minutes!"
Later, when reporters transcribed their tapes it was discovered that Dylan was not in fact opening a chain of pizza restaurants but was announcing an upcoming tour of Italy.
----Ed Kaz
Time now for yet another episode of that high concept/low-rent reality series editor UN edited, detailing the day-to-day dealings of Rich the New York City Reality TV Editor.
EPISODE 77: "WHAT DOES JAKE DO ANYWAY?"
Assistant Editor Jake explains what he does, anyway.
Tune in next time for ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE of editor UN edited on most of these Xanga stations.
Credits:
Jake: Had a lot of 'splainin' to do.
Kaz: Satisfied with that explanation.
We welcome your comments and suggestions.
Please print neatly and legibly in the spaces provided below.
Thank you,
The Producers of editor UN edited
Filmed in KAZ-O-VISION®
"Dark and Seedy, anyway"
Ed Kaz arrives to audition for the role of Ed Kaz only to learn that the role of Ed Kaz has already been cast.
James: Casting Director
Kaz: Not himself, apparently
Filmed in KAZ-O-VISION®
"Dark and Seedy"
HEY XANGATEERS!
That's
right! The heavily trademarked and ridiculously litigious rodent says it's
time for one and all to create a clever and crazy caption! Who knows?
You might even win some BIG PRIZES!*
I snapped this picture recently in New York City ...
----Ed Kaz
*depends on what you consider "big" and "prizes."
It's been brought to my attention recently that there is actually an album entitled Best of Sugarloaf. Huh? Wha? Sugarloaf had other hits besides Green Eyed Lady? You sure? Even Norman Greenbaum has questioned the validity of this record.
Well, it turns out I was wrong. Sugarloaf had a whole bunch of hits. How the heck could I have forgotten these?
BEST OF SUGARLOAF
Side One:
1. Green-Eyed Lady
2. Green-Eyed Lady (Diddy Remix)
3. Green-Eyed Lady Meets Brown-Eyed Girl
4. Green-Eyed Lady of the Lowlands
5. Green Stamp Lady
Side Two:
1. Green-Eyed Lady is a Tramp
2. Green-Toothed Lady (UK only version)
3. Green Sugar
4. Green Eyed Lady (With a Blue Dress On)
5. Fried Green-Eyed Lady Tomatoes
Now I can't wait for Volume 2.
----- Ed Kaz !
A few months back, I encountered JFK on the subway.
Luckily, I had my cell phone camera.
Oh it was JFK all right. I mean, he had the JFK haircut and the JFK outfit. It was good to see him alive and well and taking the A Train.
Then last weekend, I was on the Crosstown Bus. I looked up from my Village Voice for a moment and there he was: Mr. Cold War, Mr. Kitchen Debate, that Old Missile Hider himself, Nikita Khrushchev.
Not such a tough guy now, are ya? Huh?
NEXT WEEK: Taking the ferry with Adlai Stevenson.
------ Ed Kaz !
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