It happened like this:

This morning I climbed out of the subway and was greeted by a sub zero blast of good ol' New York City wind and snow.  Felt nice, actually.  I only have a couple of blocks to walk on 28th Street to get to work, so it was all well and good.

Then it happened:

This other guy was walking across the street and got hit with a gust of wind, causing items to dislodge from his grip.  One of the items was money---a bill of some sort.   He kept on walking though;  I wasn't sure if he didn't notice or just didn't care.

But I noticed.

There it was, some sort of bill lying in the middle of 28th Street, still warm from some stranger's pocket.  I stood still, waiting for the cabs to go by, the whole time thinking, "I wonder how much it is?"

Finally, the last cab whooshed by.  I surreptitiously walked over and picked it up. 

A twenty!  NICE!

It's always fun to find money.  And even though the economy is in free fall, a twenty still has a bit of heft to it.  You can buy a CD, a few gallons of gas, a small coffee at Starbucks.

The thing is though, the longer I held that twenty  in my hand, the more I started to think,  "Maybe I should try to find the guy," followed immediately with "I should keep it, screw him." followed by, "Well if I can't find the guy, I should keep it," followed by, "You saw him go in that deli, Ed, and he had a distinctive brown coat on, he'll be really easy to spot," followed by, "You just can't lose that Catholic conscience can you?"

So I walked into the deli, looked around a bit, and there was the man in the distinctive brown coat.  I tapped on his shoulder.  He swung around abruptly (People always swing around abruptly in Manhattan).

"Hey buddy," handing over the bill, "You dropped this."

He lit up.  "Thank you!"

I said "You're welcome," and walked out the door.

This experience made me feel pretty good about myself, and who knows?   Maybe that guy is feeling good too, and  is blogging about the experience:

"Can you believe I lost a twenty and some guy with stringy hair in a Carhartt jacket actually followed me and gave it back?   It restored my faith in humanity.   I've decided to postpone the office killing spree."

                                                              ----Ed Kaz

Time now for yet another episode of that award losing new reality series editor UN edited, detailing the day-to-day dealings of Rich the New York City Reality TV Editor.

EPISODE 92: "DAVE'S NOT HERE"

Dave the Cameraman explains in detail everything you need to know about TV camera work.

Tune in next time for ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE of editor UN edited on most of these Xanga stations.

We welcome your comments and suggestions!
Please print neatly and legibly in the spaces provided below.
Thank you,
The Producers of editor UN edited

Filmed in KAZ-O-VISION®
"Dark and Seedy"

Some year, 1971.  The year of the bad rock-star beard.  George Harrison had one.  Leon Russell had one too, not to mention miles of split ends.  Leon!  What were you thinking?

It's all evident in the Concert for Bangladesh movie.  But that's not what I'm here to discuss. 

I first saw it when it was released in the theaters in 1972, that's how old I am.  I still have the original vinyl album and the great booklet with all the pictures. 

I remember one summer the movie played at the local drive-in and I went with a bunch of buddies, crowded into a lime-green Volkswagen Beetle. When Bob Dylan came on, everyone honked their horns and flashed their lights.  It was a cool moment.  Of course, one of my cynical friends had to complain.  "Look at Dylan!  He's a has-been!  He's OLD!"   What was he, like thirty?  I guess that was old back then, wasn't it.

Looking at the film on DVD all these years later, I'm struck by just how much spirituality was in evidence at that show.  Harrison was so earnest in his beliefs and it really rang true.  It still makes sense to me today.  He never sang about subscribing to a certain religion, but simply what you can find inside yourself.  You know, The Inner Light and all that.

There was such a heartfelt camaraderie on the stage that night.  Ringo Starr looked great behind the skins, alongside future Wilbury Jim Keltner.  When those shimmering first chords of It Don't Come Easy come up, so do my goose-bumps. You have to put this in perspective;  The Beatles had only broken up a year or so earlier, and these guys were still infallible gods at the time. Not only that, to see Bob Dylan in person was an event; he'd been in exile for several years at this point.  When the spotlight hit Harrison for the first time, he was greeted with an extended standing ovation.  It was as though the audience just wanted to thank him for all those years as a Beatle.  Well, I guess that's what they were doing.

Honorable mention goes to Billy Preston, who delivered a stirring rendition of That's the Way God Planned It, a song that could thaw even the coldest of atheist hearts.  The moment he loses control and dances all around the stage is a moment for the ages.  Eric Clapton, unfortunately and shamefully, was pretty strung out at the time.  It didn't even look like him, and there was certainly no fire in his playing; he just sort of stumbled about. Thank goodness he managed to yank himself out of that deadly haze before he wound up on the cover of Rolling Stone for the wrong reason.

At the Concert for Bangladesh, George Harrison pulled it off.  He came out from behind the shadow of Lennon/McCartney, proving himself as an artist to be reckoned with.  He also proved himself to be a great humanitarian.

1971 may have been the year of the bad rock-star beard, but it was a good one for the world.

                                                              ----Ed Kaz
 

 
This sign was posted in the window of my deli on 28th Street this morning.   If you recognize this person please call the 800 number immediately and claim your reward money.*

                                                                       ---- Ed Kaz

*18 dollars payable in Twinkies.

He's that guy.

You see him acting in every movie or guesting on every sitcom or talking about a famous actor in a documentary about a famous actor. He can be funny, dastardly, urbane, or sleazy; whatever you need. He's always there, always eager to please, happily supporting the supporting actors.

He's the character actor.

I spotted one yesterday while watching a featurette on one of my Seinfeld DVDs. There he was: the guy who played Russell Dalrymple--president of NBC when Jerry and George were trying to sell the sitcom pilot.

You know who I mean?

Right!

That guy...

What's-His-Name.

As he spoke his name flashed at the bottom. "Ah!" I thought, "I'm really going to make a point of remembering his name." And sure enough, as soon as it left the screen it left my brain.

Why is it that we refuse to make an effort to know the names of our esteemed character actors--the desk sergeants, the judges, the cab-drivers, the Perry Whites, the Maytag repairmen? Their importance is immeasurable; if not for them to advance the plot, offer comic relief, or cause distress for the star, then we wouldn't have much of a show, would we.

Feeling terrible, I decided to do some research on What's-His-Face. Turns out that Who'd-Ya-Ma-Call-It has enjoyed quite a distinguished career. He played Francois Truffaut's translator in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. He was a confused student who had a seamy dalliance with Jon Voight in Midnight Cowboy. He even shared screen time with the legendary Orson Welles in Catch 22.

And yet, even with all those credentials we still draw a blank.

Pathetic.

Well, I think it's high time we start putting names to the faces of these dependable, hard-working thespians. Let them join the ranks of such household names as Tom, Jack, Dustin, and Meryl. America!

Stand up and salute one of our most belovedly ubiquitous albeit unsung character actors:

That guy. Damn. You know…what the hell is his name...[snapping fingers] He was on Seinfeld, remember?

WHAT’S HIS FACE!

                                                                       ---- Ed Kaz

My New Year's resolution is to become the greatest sitar player the world has ever known.

                                                                       ---- Ed Kaz

From my column in Friday's Asbury Park Press...

SIBLING HILARITY
Comics pick their most-liked Van Dyke
By Ed Kaz!
Comedy Correspondent

The Van Dyke brothers--Dick and Jerry--have both made their mark on our culture; one starred in a groundbreaking TV series and the other had a car for a mother. OK, so maybe Dick Van Dyke had more fame than younger brother Jerry, but they both had talent to spare:  Dick did a great Stan Laurel imitation and Jerry could play banjo and do jokes. Those are some marketable skills, my friend.  Given their impressive resumes I'd be hard pressed to pick a favorite, so I turned the question over to some of America's top comics:  Which Van Dyke do you most like?  Dick or Jerry?

ERIC LYDEN:  Are they the ice cream guys?

JOE MATARESE:   Dick Van Dyke for sure.  His sitcom "The Dick Van Dyke Show" was a true classic.  I watched it a lot on sick days growing up. That’s before Nick At Night. UHF Baby!

LISA LANDRY:  Dick. I will always choose Dick.

ROBERT KELLY:  Time to update your questions.

MIKE MORSE:  While Dick has the much funnier first name, I have to go with Jerry. His mother was a car, damn it!

TED ALEXANDRO:  I'm a big fan of  Dick Van Dyke. As a kid I just loved "Chitty, Chitty Bang Bang" and "Mary Poppins.“ Only later in life did I realize his English accent was awful but it didn't matter. He always had a twinkle in his eye that conveyed joy and optimism. Of course "The Dick Van Dyke Show" is an enduring classic. And his physical gifts as a comedian were nonpareil.

BEN BAILEY:  Dick.  All class.  

JAY BLACK:  Dick.  The Dick Van Dyke show was an all-time classic.  “My Mother the Car” was... uh... less classic.

ERIC MCMAHON:  Jerry, because he was a comic.  Dick was doing pratfalls like a prop act.

ROB CANTRELL:  Dyke Van Dick was funny, just a little confused and misunderstood.

ERIC TARTAGLIONE:  I loved the Dick Van Dyke show, but anybody that has to star in a TV series with a car as your mother gets my vote.

GREG BEHRENDT:  Jerry, because he played the banjo.  

TIM YOUNG:  Any college student reading this is going be like "Who's a dyke?" I don't think people are watching too much black and white TV these days, but I would go with Dick Van Dyke. He was physical comedy genius and his timing was impeccable.

BRAD WILLIAMS:  Dick. Just because people actually had bets on if he was going to trip over the ottoman every night. Good stuff.

BONNIE McFARLANE: Ah, the Sophie's Choice question. I guess the one that's not already dead. If they're both dead, then Jerry. I'm a sucker for the underdog.

ANDREW KENNEDY:   Dick. He had me at "Bang, Bang!" (Chitty Chitty that is)

Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.

AsburyKaz@aol.com

www.edkaz.com

If you travel the NJ Turnpike as much as I do you know that it's not the friendliest of roadways.  It doesn't have to be that way.  In my opinion, there are a few simple things the state can do to make travel on that venerable toll road a more pleasant experience.  Governor Corzine?  You reading?

From the Home Office in Shell Pile New Jersey...

TOP TEN SUGGESTIONS TO IMPROVE THE AMBIENCE OF THE NJ TURNPIKE

10. All gas station attendants are required to ask YOU if you need directions.

  9. Obscene graffiti in rest room stalls replaced by obscene Haikus.

  8. To attract hipper crowd, Joyce Kilmer Rest Stop renamed Richie Sambora Rest Stop.

  7. All rest room bathrooms will have a guy handing out free towels and aftershave.

  6. Speed limit increased to a much more reasonable 95 MPH.

  5. No more toll tickets---Honor System!

  4. During entire month of February, turnpike closes down for cross-country skiing.

  3. New sign on toll booths: "Got Pennies? We'll Take 'Em!"

  2. U-Turns not only permitted but encouraged.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SUGGESTION TO IMPROVE THE AMBIENCE OF THE NJ TURNPIKE:

1. Toll collectors replaced by Hooters Girls.

 
 
                                                                       ---- Ed Kaz