Here's the latest Kaz Column appearing in Friday's Asbury Park Press.
HOORAY FOR HALEYWOOD
Gran Torino star Brian Haley's got big plans, baby.
By Ed Kaz!
Comedy Correspondent
You know comedian Brian Haley. He's that straight-laced all-American lookin' fellow who looks as if he's about to explode any minute (which invariably he does). On his first Tonight Show appearance, he so dazzled Johnny Carson that he brought him to the couch and his career went into the stratosphere, like a comet. Sort of a Haley's comet?
From there Haley became a celluloid sensation; He was the bad guy in "Baby's Day Out," the secret service agent to Jack Nicholson's president in "Mars Attacks," and the detective in the Coen Brother's homage to film noir, "The Man Who Wasn't There." Still not impressed? Then check this out: Brian Haley just happens to be playing Clint Eastwood's son in the critically acclaimed box office smash "Gran Torino." And Haley has even bigger goals on the horizon: "A big band, show girls and something on a major network called "The Brian Haley Show." I'm trying to make that happen," enthuses the comic, who appears at the Prime Time Comedy Club & Theatre this Saturday, "Come see me now so you can say you saw me before they changed the Hollywood sign to Haleywood."
KAZ!: Wow Brian! You just had a major role in Gran Torino. What the heck was it like doing scenes with Clint Eastwood?
HALEY: Scary. He carries that 44 Magnum everywhere he goes and if you don't get it on the first take he gives you that "look." I peed my pants on the first day after blowing my first take, but luckily he had to kill a studio executive for asking a question, so that took the heat off me for the moment.
KAZ!: You turn up in a lot of movies as a cop, and every time I go, "Hey, it's that guy Brian Haley!" What is it about playing cops that appeals to you?
HALEY: I get paid. Sorry, I wish I could say it was an artistic choice of some kind. It's not like these people in charge of making movies have a lot of imagination. Think of how long guys like Travolta and Mickey Rourke lingered on the vine before being used to their potential. Yeah, so I'm like that, except without the huge career on the front side of the equation.
KAZ!: Of all the films you've appeared in, which would you say was your favorite?
HALEY: Well, my favorite movie to be in would probably be Gran Torino because it was a good film, but my favorite character was Mike Hammersmith (aka Spike's dad) in Little Giants. That was fun. I like playing crazy people. I don't have to work so hard to make it happen.
KAZ!: At what age did you realize you were funny?
HALEY: In first grade while waiting for the school bus I held on to the bumper of a parked car and smacked my ass on the ground repeatedly. It killed. I knew then I was special.
KAZ!: Addams Family or Munsters?
HALEY: Munsters. Tough call, but Herman Munster really cracked me up. I loved the fact that he didn't realize his strength. That's important in comedy. I can do 1400 pounds on the leg sled, but I'd never tell anyone that.
KAZ!: At what point in your life did you think to yourself, "Hey! I can make a living doing this?"
HALEY: I quit my day job in '87 some time and soon after moved to LA. I have been lucky to make a living at this for the past twenty-two years. To be honest though, sometimes I miss digging ditches.
KAZ!: What is the absolute worst gig you ever had?
HALEY: The Comedy Zone in Jacksonville Florida stands out. It was so bad I wrote in my journal I wanted to get out of stand up comedy. It wasn't enough some people didn't get my material, they actually became hostile. My act never went over too well in the Deep South. Call me crazy, but I swear I saw Charlie Manson at one show. And the manager stiffed me cab fare to the airport. I've hated Jacksonville ever since. I know that’s not fair, but I’m just being honest.
KAZ!: What is the absolute best gig you ever had?
HALEY: Wow, good question. Nothing in show biz will ever beat The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson--that was a gift from God to do that, but if you are talking clubs then I'd have to say I had a monstrous set at Catch A Rising Star Princeton once, and an old guy that worked on the Univac project heckled me. I was heckled by the inventor of the computer. That was special.
KAZ!: Do people always expect you to be funny, even at moments when you are not supposed to be funny, like when you’re at the dentist's office?
HALEY: Yes, and they comment that I seem too serious to be a comedian. They must think comedians have no off-switch. Like the horse track announcer talks like that at home? (rim shot) I tend to be kind of quiet off stage. In fact, contrary to always being the center of attention, I tend to laugh a lot, especially at church functions like weddings and funerals.
KAZ!: If you weren't doing comedy and films, what the heck WOULD you be doing?
HALEY: Hmm. Probably something physical and exciting like fighting those mud people from The Lord of the Rings.
KAZ!: How excited are you that you are playing in Sayreville New Jersey in the middle of the winter?
HALEY: I love New Jersey. I always have good shows here and the Sayreville room looks like a peach. As for winter, I'm no sissy, I live here. Bring it.
----------------
Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.
AsburyKaz@aol.com
www.edkaz.com
BRIAN HALEY
Saturday Night
Prime Time Comedy Club & Theatre
960 Route 9 South, Sayreville
Showtimes 7:30 & 10:30
For ticket prices and reservations:
(732)-721-6555
www.primetimecomedyonline.com
www.brianhaley.com
Recent Comments