October 29, 2009

  • In Praise of Zeppo!

    Remember when Tom Fogerty left Creedence Clearwater Revival? 
    Well, neither do I, actually.

    At the time, he didn't seem to be an essential member.  Brother John was the mastermind, writing the songs, singing and playing lead guitar while hapless Tom was relegated to rhythm guitar position.  Yet, as soon as he left, Creedence fell into disarray, only to break up shortly thereafter.

    Which brings us to the Marx Brothers. 

    When Zeppo departed the team, they made exactly one classic (A Night at the Opera) and followed that success with several resounding duds.  Without Zeppo to provide the rhythm, the tempo tumbled and the comedy collapsed. 

    The lesson?  Be good to your brother or you might get really screwed later.

    You can catch Zeppo in action in Universal's DVD boxed-set The Marx Brothers Silver Screen Collection.  It contains all the Marx movies that matter:  Duck Soup, Horsefeathers, Monkey Business, Animal Crackers and The Cocoanuts.

    Give Zeppo some props, people.  He may have been the one without a costume or any sort of accent, but he sure was one swell crooner.  Check out his pipes in Monkey Business, doing Chevalier proud as he attempts to sneak past customs.  You'll see what I mean.

    He left the group after the Duck Soup and went on to marry Barbara Marx, who went on to marry Frank Sinatra.  I'll bet Ol' Blue Eyes found Zeppo to be one tough act to follow. 

    A side note:  Zeppo's three brothers also appear in these movies.  They're not very good singers, though.

                                                                                ----Ed Kaz

October 17, 2009

  • INTERVIEW WITH A DEVIL

    Recently, I was granted an exclusive interview with the Garden State's most feared and misunderstood folk legend: The Jersey Devil. He currently lives in quiet semi-retirement in a McMansion somewhere in the swamps of Jersey. We spoke one afternoon last week at the Seville Diner on Route 18 in East Brunswick, where The Devil was dining on one of his favorite dishes: blackened clam chowder.

    KAZ:  So, Jersey Devil. What's new?

    JERSEY DEVIL:  What's NEW? I was born in 1735. You tell me.

    KAZ:  What's the matter? You're sounding awfully cranky today.

    JERSEY DEVIL:  I am. I had a dinner date scheduled with The Blair Witch and she stood me up, AGAIN. I swear, ever since that movie she thinks she's all that.

    KAZ:  Speaking of The Blair Witch, there seem to be a lot more regional monsters around than there used to be. Do you feel threatened by the competition?

    JERSEY DEVIL:   There are many imitators, but they pale in comparison. I mean, how scary could the Connecticut Curmudgeon be?

    KAZ:  Valid point. Tell me, JD, what do you do for relaxation?

                                    

    JERSEY DEVIL:  I lurk, Ed.   I love lurking. Lurking is my life.

    KAZ:  That's nice. But lurking doesn't pay the rent, does it?

    JERSEY DEVIL:  Well, I'm also working at the Old Navy in the Freehold Mall.

    KAZ:  Oh! So THAT'S where you got that cool down vest!

    JERSEY DEVIL:  Yes! You like it? I find it to be very slimming.

    KAZ:  But I noticed you had to cut holes in the back for your wings.

    JERSEY DEVIL:  [sighs] Yeah, these wings are a real drag. Ever try to get into one of those new Kia Souls with wings stickin' out of your back? Even with a hatchback, it ain't easy.

    KAZ: Yeah. Plus that constant hot breath of yours must always fog up the windshield.

    JERSEY DEVIL:  OK. OK. Don't rub it in! You lookin' to get a hoof print in your forehead?

    KAZ:   Moving right along! Do you have anything special planned for Halloween weekend?

    JERSEY DEVIL:  Nothin' much. I think me and some of my pals--Big Foot, The Loch Ness Monster, and Richie Sambora--are gonna get together for a little gin rummy.

                                     ---- Ed Kaz

October 16, 2009

  • "I did get paid in lap dances though."

    Here's my comedy column in Friday's Asbury Park Press

    METALLY UNBALANCED
    By Ed Kaz !
    Comedy Correspondent

    Jim Florentine is one busy funnyman.  The third season of  "That Metal Show" (co-hosted with fellow comic Don Jamieson)  just made its premiere on VH1 Classic.  Early next year he'll be featured in the film "A Little Help" starring Jenna Fischer and Chris O'Donnell.  The cutting-edge comic is an acknowledged master of the prank call;  his series of CDs, "Terrorizing Telemarketers," are the stuff of legend.

    Florentine--who cites Rodney Dangerfield as his number one influence--makes an appearance at The Stress Factory in New Brunswick this weekend.  
     
    KAZ!:  Congratulations on your third season as host of That Metal Show on VH1 Classic!  It seems as though Heavy Metal and comedy go hand-in-hand for some reason.  What's the connection?

    FLORENTINE:  Heavy metal doesn't take itself serious just like comedy. Metal people have a sense of humor unlike most other genres of music.

    KAZ!:  How do Heavy Metal fans differ from regular people?
     
    FLORENTINE:  Heavy Metal fans are social outcasts who s     it in their room on Friday night listening to music instead of hanging with the "in crowd" and doing corny stuff like going bowling.

    KAZ!:  What's your favorite metal song for air guitar purposes?

    FLORENTINE:  "Eruption" by Van Halen.

    KAZ!:  Who was your favorite guest so far?

    FLORENTINE:  Rob Halford from Judas Priest. Super cool guy and big fan of the show which makes him even cooler.

    KAZ!:  "Terrorizing Telemarketers" is mean-spirited, tasteless, and borderline evil.  How did you come up with such a brilliant idea?

    FLORENTINE:  I grew up strict Catholic so it's my evil rebellious side coming out when I do those calls.

    KAZ!:  Give me an example of a prank phone call that went horribly wrong.

    FLORENTINE:  A newspaper wanted me to sign up for a subscription. I told them could I just get the paper delivered for a week because I have inhalation anthrax.  They hung up and fifteen minutes later the cops were at my door.
     
    KAZ!:  What is the absolute worst gig you ever had?

    FLORENTINE:  Performing at a strip club in between the dancers' sets. I did get paid in lap dances though.

    KAZ!:   Do people always expect you to be funny, even at moments when you are not supposed to be funny, like when you're at the Arby's Drive-thru?

    FLORENTINE:  Yes they do. That's why I tell people I cut lawns for a living.
     
    KAZ!:  How excited are you that you'll be working in New Brunswick, New Jersey?

    FLORENTINE:  The Stress Factory is my home club. Plus they let me drink for free so I'm excited.

    -------------------------------------------
    Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.

    AsburyKaz@aol.com

     
    JIM FLORENTINE
    Tonight & Saturday
    Stress Factory Comedy Club
    90 Church St. New Brunswick
    Showtimes 8 & 10:30
    Tickets: $22
    Reservations:
    (732)-545-4242
    www.stressfactory.com
    ****************************************

October 14, 2009

  • Alex Chilton gets horrified!

    Alex Chilton's first group, "The Box Tops" make a 1967 appearance on the most macabre local dance show you'll ever see: The legendary DISCOTEEN on Newark New Jersey's Channel 47.

    Watch if you dare!  [maniacal laughter]

October 12, 2009

  • Fear and Loathing in Heaven

    Hunter S. Thompson:
    he's up there
    they misfiled the paperwork
    now he's hangin' with Jesus

    notes compared
    Jann Wenner - Mary Magdalene
    Vegas - Cana
    walking on water? - a salt shaker of coke?

    the two outsiders
    light up just outside the gate
    Jesus inhales deeply
    Hunter exhales hotly
    both love lepers and freaks

                                     ---- Ed Kaz

October 9, 2009

  • KAZ INTERVIEW: John Oliver

    OLIVER. JOHN OLIVER.

    By Ed Kaz!
    Comedy Correspondent

    British comic John Oliver has made his mark on American television as the loutishly opinionated correspondent on The Daily Show, regularly cracking up host Jon Stewart. His sudden fame and distinguished accent has not helped him gain an entrée with the American ladies, however. According to Oliver, the accent works "...only if you are in a scuffed up tuxedo and driving away from an exploding building. In other words, only if you're James Bond." Oliver, who also appears on NBC's new series "Community," is onstage and talkin' British tonight and Saturday New Brunswick's Stress Factory comedy club.

    KAZ!: John! Seems as though a year ago you were a complete unknown. Now you're the King of Ubiquity! TV, film, clubs, Internet. To what do you attribute this sudden surge of incredible overexposure?

    OLIVER: Vitamin B. Lots and lots of Vitamin B. Doctors might tell you not to take way more than is medically advisable. But they just don't want you to be on TV. I'm telling you, Vitamin B.

    KAZ!: How does the real John Oliver differ from the character you've crafted on NBC's "Community?"

    OLIVER: Mainly just the name. I've kept everything else--voice, mannerisms, glasses, etc.--out of a sense of laziness rather than artistic choice.

    KAZ!: You've been described as edgy, irritating, and snarky. Do you have any other adjectives you'd like to add?

    OLIVER: Who described me as any of those things? I want detailed references and sources before I engage in the premise of this question. I will hold you to high journalistic standards, in which case you can add the adjective "pedantic."

    KAZ!: Your first film role is that of "Dick Pants" in the movie "The Love Guru." That whole thing wasn't your fault, was it?

    OLIVER: Well, that was both my first and my last film role. So I think that should at least partially answer your question.

    KAZ!: Is all the stuff on Wikipedia about you true?

    OLIVER: Of course not. Nor should it be. That would ruin the fun of Wikipedia. It's a way of rewriting history in the most childish possible way. If we can't provide future generations with a future, let's at least give them a more pleasant past.

    KAZ!: How did growing up in Liverpool affect your comedic sensibilities?



    OLIVER: Wikipedia strikes again. I did not grow up in Liverpool , but you're right; if I had, it would definitely have affected my comic sensibilities.

    KAZ!: On the Daily Show, do you feel that being British allows you to get away with more when you're skewering some of these American knuckleheads?

    OLIVER: Yes. At the very least they can rarely understand what I'm saying.

    KAZ!: What do you love the most about the United States?

    OLIVER: Wow. The last time I was asked that, it was by a very angry immigration officer. I'll answer your question the way I answered his: Oh look over there! (runs away).

    KAZ!: How excited are you to be appearing in New Brunswick, New Jersey?

    OLIVER: Extremely excited. When I was a child, I used to point to New Brunswick on the globe and tell my Dad that one day I would play a gig there. The key to happiness is to set achievable goals.

    --------------------------
    Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.

    AsburyKaz@aol.com

    JOHN OLIVER
    Tonight & Saturday
    Stress Factory Comedy Club
    90 Church St. New Brunswick
    Showtimes 8 & 10:30
    Tickets: $26
    Reservations:
    (732)-545-4242
    www.stressfactory.com

October 5, 2009

  • My Weekend...

    The handymen came by to install railing on my stone steps in order to:

    1. Ruin the aesthetics

    2. Satisfy the evil insurance company

    Both Missions Accomplished.



    Filmed in KAZ-O-VISION®
    "Dark and Seedy."

October 3, 2009

  • UNSUNG HEROS of SYMBOL CREATION


    I     feel bad for the guy who invented "@."

    No one could have predicted how much it would be used on The Internet; he gets no residuals whatsoever.

    In fact, he is so bitter he only uses "#."

                                                                                                  ---- Ed Kaz

September 23, 2009

  • Great News!

    I just received a patent for my latest invention!

    Introducing The EZ InventionMaker®

     

    A large box containing a pad (pencil sold separately), two kinds of screwdrivers, a picture of Edison (for inspiration), and addresses of currently out-of-jail patent attorneys.

    Congratulations are in order!

                                                                                                  ---- Ed Kaz

September 18, 2009

  • "...mental illness untreated."

    Here's the Kaz Column from Friday's Asbury Park Press

    INTERNATIONAL MAN OF COMEDY
    Tommy Savitt has been everywhere, including Brooklyn

    By Ed Kaz !
    Comedy Correspondent

    Tommy Savitt knew early on what his life's vocation would be:  "I had the bug for show business at the age of seven," explained the comic, "as I poured a bowl of cereal over my sister's head."  I conducted my interview with Savitt over lunch, figuring a BLT would do considerably less damage.

    KAZ!:  Tommy!  You're billed as an "International Comedy Star."  What's the most international place you've ever played?  

    SAVITT:  Definitely Brooklyn. As we know, Brooklyn is the Riviera of New York. The place is teeming with artwork scrolled on the walls of many office buildings and I believe one of the most popular artists is some guy called "Your Mother."

    KAZ!:  You've won the 2008 Seattle-International Comedy Competition as well as the 2007 Boston Comedy Festival.  Did they give you a trophy or something?  If so, where do you keep them?

    SAVITT:  No trophy but I won cash. $5000 at each competition. Not a dime of which I possess today.

    KAZ!:  Why would anyone want to become a comedian anyway?

    SAVITT:  Simply a result of mental illness untreated.

    KAZ!:  Do you remember the very first joke you ever told on stage?

    SAVITT:  Yes, I do. Unfortunately, the joke was very long winded and was ten minutes long. I soon learned less is more.

    KAZ!:  Are you a good heckler-handler?

    SAVITT:  I'm usually not heckled. I don't mind hecklers as long as they're not drunk. One time a drunkard chased me around a club with a pitcher of beer. I ducked and he splashed the audience. Hecklers are more of a menace to their fellow audience members.

    KAZ!:  Addams Family or Munsters?

    SAVITT:  Definitely more of a Munsters man because I can really relate to the character of Marilyn.  It really sucks to be beautiful without being recognized.

    KAZ!:  When you are an off-duty comic, do you lead a normal life?

    SAVITT:  Once again, this is not a lifestyle choice of the mentally stable.

    KAZ!:  How excited are you that you're appearing in Princeton New Jersey?

    SAVITT:  I'm making my triumphant return. I love Princeton. The staff is fantastic and warm. They actually make me feel as if I'm part of their family. When I feel good so does the audience.

    -------------------------------------------
    Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.

    AsburyKaz@aol.com

     
    TOMMY SAVITT
    Featurings Gianni and Steve Trevelise
    Tonight & Saturday
    Catch a Rising Star Princeton
    Located at the Hyatt Regency,
    102 Carnegie Center, Princeton.
    Showtimes
    Tonight 8 pm  $17.50
    Saturday 7:30& 9:30pm  $20
    Call (609) 987-8018
    www.catcharisingstar.com