August 22, 2013

  • BREAKING: AUTOMOTIVE INDUSTRY TO REINVENT WHEEL

    Dearborn, MI (Amalgamated Press) The Ford Motor Company announced today it will eliminate the steering wheel on all future models beginning in 2015. 

    The steering wheel--in use for over one hundred years--will be replaced by a mouse.  "Just click in the direction you want to go, and you'll go there," said CEO Alan Mulally.  

    Ford is reportedly also working on a "right click" braking system as well as downloadable horn tones.  "An angry honk will now be replaced by a pleasant Miley Cyrus tune," explained Mulally, adding "We believe this will significantly cut down on the amount of road rage on our nation's highways."  

    Mulally offered no comment after a reporter mentioned a Miley Cyrus horn tone would probably increase highway road rage.

                                                                                  ---- Ed Kaz