An original film by Ed Kaz
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"...I will disembowel you."
From Friday's Asbury Park Press... IT'S NOT A WONDERFUL LIFE
But it's pretty funny to Christopher TitusBy Ed Kaz!
Comedy CorrespondentChristopher Titus' many demons are simply hecklers to be dealt with. For three seasons
his horrendously dysfunctional upbringing became fodder for laughs on his Fox sitcom "Titus." The show explored the darkest side of family life; the result was a weekly dose of primal therapy to both viewer and creator. Titus brings his uncompromisingly hilarious act to the stage of New Brunswick's Stress Factory this weekend.KAZ!: Your series "Titus" was in my opinion one of the funniest sitcoms ever. Would you ever consider getting back into a regular TV series?
TITUS: I've sold five ideas since "Titus" so TV is something I still want. Spoiler Alert: I have a meeting with FOX on Tuesday and will find out if they are okaying a series based on (stand up act) "Love is Evol" My ex will be pissed.
KAZ!: At what age did you realize you were funny?
TITUS: Five. When I told my first joke to my dad's friends about how many girls he was sleeping with.
KAZ!: Is everything I read about you on Wikipedia true?
TITUS: Yes everything on Wikipedia is dead on, including the alien baby and the sex change operation.
KAZ!: What is the absolute worst gig you ever had?
TITUS: Besides this? Macon Georgia, around 1995. I jumped on a woman heckler who wouldn't look at the stage. Then found out she was blind.
KAZ!: What is the absolute best gig you ever had?
TITUS: Writing, starring, and producing "Titus" but it's second to being a single dad, he says weepingly.
KAZ!: Are you a good heckler handler? Got any heckler-handling tips?
TITUS: This is not a challenge but I excel at hecklers. I've been doing this since I was eighteen. I will disembowel you.
KAZ!: What's your favorite cake?
TITUS: Yellow cake uranium because I could sell it to Iran or North Korea and retire on my treasonous profit.
KAZ!: What do you love the most about New Brunswick, New Jersey?
TITUS: Where?
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Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.***********INFO BOX ***********
CHRISTOPHER TITUS
Friday & Saturday
Stress Factory Comedy Club
90 Church St. New Brunswick
Showtimes:
Friday 8 & 10.30pm
Saturday, 8 & 10:30 pm
Tickets: $32
Reservations: (732)-545-4242
www.stressfactory.com
www.christophertitus.com
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KAZ INTERVIEW: Hal Sparks
From Friday's Asbury Park Press
QUANTUM COMEDICS
There's a science to Hal Sparks' madnessBy Ed Kaz !
Comedy CorrespondentHow does Hal Sparks create comedy? Depends on the moment: "Some of it comes in a flash; an honest revelation about what in particular makes something absurd," explained the comic, "and sometimes I am distressed, angered, or annoyed by something and I go at it as a writer and researcher. You have to pick it up and look at it from all angles to see its flaws and limitations." Sparks' scientific approach to laugh getting--which regularly makes audiences roar on TV, radio, film, and every Internet social networking site imaginable--is on exhibit this weekend at New Brunswick's Stress Factory comedy club.
KAZ!: Hal, you grew up in Peaks Mill, Kentucky. I'm assuming that Peaks Mill had a mill of some sort. What was their major export?
SPARKS: Um...me actually. I was the most lucrative thing to come out of Peaks Mill.
KAZ!: Is everything I read about you on Wikipedia true?
SPARKS: Yes. Except the stuff I added myself.
KAZ!: Did you ever come up with a joke that you personally thought was hysterical but got absolutely no reaction whatsoever?
SPARKS: Yes. But that really only happens on dates. Specifically first dates...that are almost never followed by a second.
KAZ!: Do people always expect you to be funny, even at moments when you are not supposed to be funny, like when you're buying light bulbs at True Value Hardware?
SPARKS: I expect me to be funny in those moments. I take joy in it and the idea that I could make some fun out of thin air has always appealed to me. More people seem to think you should be funny all the time and they accuse you of always being on; When you stop joking these are usually the first people to complain.
KAZ!: What's your favorite cake?
SPARKS: There's a Vegan banana creme cake at Real Food Daily (in Santa Monica) that is great. I'll have that on occasion when I eat there. Otherwise cake is something I can really do without.
KAZ!: What's the big plan for Hal Sparks, circa 2010?
SPARKS: My goal of being on every social networking site in existence is getting closer every day. This year for me is all about touring, streaming, and tweeting...and avoiding cake.
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Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.HAL SPARKS
Friday & Saturday
Stress Factory Comedy Club
90 Church St. New Brunswick
Showtimes:
Friday 8 & 10pm
Saturday, 8 & 10:30 pm
Tickets: $18
Reservations: (732)-545-4242
www.stressfactory.com
www.twitter.com/HalSparks -
From the home office in Shell Pile New Jersey...
TOP TEN THINGS WE'LL LEARN FROM THE 2010 CENSUS
[drum roll]
10. Turns out its true: Everyone named Patel is a doctor.
9. Citing moral objections, 97% of Christians say they refuse to “check the box.”
8. Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey. No sh*t.
7. Rappers consistently inflate their figures on the “number of bullet wounds” question.
6. 14% of parents claim they named their child Dylan after Bob Dylan; 86% claim they named their child Dylan because that older kid down the street is named Dylan so why the hell not.
5. A 12% increase in Americans listing “Actor in Tony and Tina’s Wedding” as occupation.
4. 48% ended each answer with “NOSEY!”
3. More Americans rent than own, while 27% say they “got owned.”
2. There are now slightly more space aliens living in Kenosha Wisconsin than Ansted West Virginia.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING WE'LL LEARN FROM THE 2010 CENSUS:
1. For location, 79% checked the “I practically LIVE on Facebook” box.
---- Ed Kaz -
"Ouija board in the dressing room!"
The Kaz Column in Friday's Asbury Park Press
ARJ AT LARGE
By Ed Kaz !
Comedy CorrespondentHow best to describe Arj Barker?
We'll let his MySpace bio do it for us: "I’m a stand-up comedian, and I love my job, because I get to visit exotic places, meet lots of interesting people, and kill them..."
Well, uh...I'm pretty sure he means that in a comedic way, right? Right. Anyway, Barker plans to continue his audience killing spree this weekend with a stop at New Brunswick's Stress Factory.
KAZ!: Arj, why would anyone want to become a comedian anyway?
BARKER: Free booze, lots of attention, and you can sleep in nearly everyday!
KAZ!: How does funny stuff come to you?
BARKER: Ouija board in the dressing room!
KAZ!: Do people always expect you to be funny, even at moments when you are not supposed to be funny, like when you’re pricing leaf-blowers at Target?
BARKER: I don’t shop at Target for that reason. I go to another store called "Just Leaf-Blowers," and everybody shows up at Target like "Where is he?" Burned!
KAZ!: What's your favorite cake?
BARKER: I like ice cream cake the best because all other cake needs ice cream to be good, but with ice cream cake the ice cream is built in!
KAZ!: If you weren't doing comedy, what the heck WOULD you be doing?
BARKER: Very similar to what I do already, only I’d have that extra free hour at night.
KAZ!: What do you love the most about New Brunswick, New Jersey?
BARKER: I love the audiences at the Stress Factory. So respectful and intelligent. Can’t wait!
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Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.AsburyKaz@aol.com
ARJ BARKER
Friday & Saturday
Stress Factory Comedy Club
90 Church St. New Brunswick
Showtimes:
Friday & Saturday, 8 & 10:30 pm
Tickets: $20
Reservations: (732)-545-4242
www.stressfactory.com
www.arjbarker.com -
"If you want to blame anyone, blame Courtney."
It's the Kaz Comedy Column from Friday's Asbury Park Press...
GOAL-ORIENTED COMEDY
Greg Fitzsimmons wants to change the world with laughter
By Ed Kaz!
Comedy CorrespondentGreg Fitzsimmons has set a lofty goal for himself in 2010: "I have a book coming out in the fall from Simon and Schuster called 'Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons,'" explained the California-based funnyman. "Between now and then I will be trying to build up my Internet presence and setting up promotional dates so the book does well. Oh yeah, and I'm going to write the book." Another goal (less lofty, but actually attainable) will be his gig at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick this weekend.
KAZ!: Greg, why the heck would anyone want to be a comedian anyway?
FITZSIMMONS: To change the world. No offense, world, but folk singers came up a little short and people dismiss Dianetics so I felt like I had to step up.
KAZ!: Is everything I read about you on Wikipedia true?
FITZSIMMONS: My mom does tend to exaggerate, but to be perfectly honest I have never read my Wikipedia. That is actually not true, but it seems like the cool minor celebrity thing to say. Although in the case of David Cross, I don't think he even reads tweets about himself. He's the real deal.
KAZ!: Do you blame Yoko?
FITZSIMMONS: No. I like Yoko very much. I think it's misogynistic to blame Yoko. If you want to blame anyone, blame Courtney.
KAZ!: If you weren't doing comedy, what the heck WOULD you be doing?
FITZSIMMONS: Ice trucking. Because I probably have a better shot of getting on TV.
KAZ!: What do you love most about New Brunswick, New Jersey?
FITZSIMMONS: That historic 17-foot walk down Main Street.
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Have a great weekend and please remember to laugh responsibly.
GREG FITZSIMMONS
Friday, Saturday, Sunday
Stress Factory Comedy Club
90 Church St. New Brunswick
Showtimes:
Friday & Saturday, 8 & 10:30 pm
Sunday, 8 pm
Tickets: $22
Reservations: (732)-545-4242
www.stressfactory.com -
SPIKED!
From Friday's Asbury Park Press
THE ORIGINAL SPIKE TV
By Ed Kaz !
Comedy CorrespondentSubtlety.
Now that’s a word you'll never see in the same sentence with Spike Jones. You will, however, see words like bombastic, over the top, noisy, and brilliantly outrageous. In the '40s and '50s Spike Jones and His City Slickers--a slap happy amalgam of musical anarchists--meticulously dismembered the American Popular Songbook on radio and records. As a listening experience, they were unparalleled, but you had SEE this to believe it. That situation was remedied in the 1950s when a smart (or crazy?) TV executive decided America needed an antidote to the sweet safe sounds of Lawrence Welk and Mitch Miller.
Bring on Spike Jones. BOOM! CRASH! BANG! HONK!Jones' legacy of lunacy in TV’s Golden Age is captured in full low-def kinescope glory on a brand new DVD collection entitled "The Best of Spike Jones: The Funniest Show on Earth."
This was a sonic bedlam that Frank Zappa or Trent Reznor could only dream of mimicking. For some, Jones and his "Musical Depreciation Revue" was the aural equivalent of an Exedrin Headache. For others, his swinging symphonies of controlled madness were pure nirvana. Firearms are used liberally for percussive effect. Horns honk and sirens sound at inappropriate moments. A specially trained goat would bleat in the key of C. Even a hiccup is used to great effect. Perhaps their greatest triumph--captured on the DVD--is "Cocktails for Two," which begins innocently enough with a silky smooth crooner, only to quickly devolve into gurgling noises and indescribably sonic bedlam. The TV show featured guest appearances from the likes of Eddy Arnold, Zasu Pitts, and kiddie show icon Howdy Doody, who along with his partners Buffalo Bob and Clarabelle the Clown perform their own version of a Spike Jones smash.
If you want to see and hear an example of a true American musical genius (or if you just want to annoy your neighbors), put "The Best of Spike Jones" into your DVD player, and play it LOUD.
DVD
THE BEST OF SPIKE JONES
Featuring Spike Jones, Billy Barty,
Doodles Weaver, Sir Frederick Gas, and others.
Infinity Entertainment/Hepcat
Not Rated
Available in stores or at
www.infinity-entertainmentgroup.com -
"...a really big rocket ship."
From Friday's Asbury Park Press
BYE BYE '09
By Ed Kaz !
Comedy CorrespondentSick of all those lengthy lists looking back at the last year? Well, dear reader, be sick no more. Here's the only list you'll ever need to encapsulate all things notable in '09.
TOP 10 NOTABLE EVENTS OF 2009:
10. Aretha Franklin's inauguration hat goes out on tour, outdrawing Bon Jovi. A nervous Richie Sambora is spotted at Freehold Mall pricing fedoras.
9.Just in time for the chilly disease season, a new TV infomercial debuts the Haz-Mat Snuggie.
8.Oscar Meyer passes away. Memorial service held at the Los Angeles Staples Center concession stand.
7.President Obama holds historic "Beer Summit'' with Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Police Sgt. James Crowley. Afterward, Air Force One is pulled over for swerving.
6. Bob Dylan is spotted wandering around a Long Branch neighborhood. Instead of calling the cops, locals seize the opportunity to demand refunds from his "Masked and Anonymous'' movie.
5. NASA blows up the moon and finds the contents of Al Capone's vault.
4. Campbell's, in an attempt to be more relevant to the online generation, introduces Spaghetti-LOLs.
3. Bruce Springsteen turns 60. He decides to hook his stage lights up to a Clapper. He quickly abandons the idea after Giants Stadium blows a fuse and plunges half of New Jersey into darkness.
2. NASA discovers water on the moon. Poland Spring builds a really big rocket ship.
And the #1 NOTABLE EVENT OF 2009:
1. Golf course groundhog emerges early and sees his shadow; Tiger Woods jokes will continue for six more weeks.
--- Ed Kaz !
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AN OPEN LETTER OF APOLOGY TO PARSON BROWN
Dear Parson Brown,
This letter is addressed to you in the hopes of receiving your forgiveness. I have learned the hard way that sometimes a wholesome innocent activity can turn into something terribly hurtful and insulting.
That snowman in the meadow that looks exactly like you? Well, Parson Brown, I'm the one who built it and it was all my idea.
I am truly sorry to have hurt and angered such an important public figure as yourself, Parson Brown. It's completely inexcusable and I realize now that it has caused a lot of embarrassment to you along with Mrs. Brown and your lovely daughter. But I need you to try and understand my motivation for building that snowman. This is difficult for me to say but I feel it must be said.
Parson Brown, your personal appearance and public behavior of late has taken a serious downturn.
Perhaps the good folks who work in the parson's office are too fearful to inform you, but frankly, you've really packed on the pounds lately. Last year you were so slim and dashing; This year you've gotten--how can I put this--well rounded. So well rounded in fact that your torso has grown out of proportion with your underdeveloped arms. And I don't think I'm the only villager who's taken notice of your increasingly pale unhealthy complexion (There's a new tanning salon next to the blacksmith. Please accept the enclosed gift certificate).
Also, it's no secret that you drank a wee bit too much nog at last year's church mixer. By now everyone has seen those pictures of you on The Internet sticking Oreo cookies on your eyes and pretending to smoke a carrot stick. And Parson Brown, please know that if you run around in a top hat and shriek, "Look! I'm Slash!" it will frighten the children and the elderly.
In closing, Parson Brown, I realize that by building a snowman that resembles you I have caused much in the way of hurt and anger, but I'm also hoping you'll see this as wake up call: If you continue to neglect your health and appearance this way you are surely headed for a meltdown.
Sincerely,
Ed Kaz -
Photo By Ed Kaz
Honey, on the way home from the Apocalypse could you pick up some towels?
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