May 24, 2011

  • I love Chinese restaurants.
    They know why you come there, and it's certainly not for the decor.

    The temperature is generally 120 degrees year round, but its OK because there's always a huge fan blowing napkins and straws and unknown particles everywhere.   Recipes are stuck to benches with sweet and sour sauce and there are always two little kids with a stack of books, playing video games at a table.   Newspapers are provided while you wait (in Mandarin Chinese; that's the easier one). The ordering microphone is set to 8,000 decibels and the cooks are two feet behind her.

    After about a three-and-a-half minute wait, the order is shoved into your hands, stapled in a tight brown bag. You then stumble over the other patrons and the video game kids, step around the fan, unstick your foot from the sweet and sour sauce packet on the floor, and look at your receipt: 

    "THANK YOU.  HAPPY UTOPIA FUN PALACE"

                                                                                     --- Ed Kaz

Comments (2)

  • Welcome back, Kaz.

    Gimme an ethnic restaurant where the ethnics themselves eat. I don't need pictures of olive groves and piazzas to feel authentic. And I refuse to believe that any self-respecting Chinese person buys and listens to the tinkling, tinny, crappy music they play in the average chinese-chain buffet joint.

  • Excellent restaurant guide

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